Sunday, July 31, 2005

There are many things which I currently do not understand and wish somebody like God would explain it to me. One of which is WHERE THE FUCK DID MY GP ESSAP DISAPPEAR TO. On a bright sunny Friday morning, Me and Mel were peacefully doing our work in the canteen while the others had PE. Feeling sick of it, we decided to pop over to the hall to play some floorball. When we came back, my painstakingly written essay was gone. It didn't..

1. Fly away. ( We checked within 500m radius. )
2. Accidentally got into Mel's file. ( I forced Mel to check his file so many times we got so fed up with each other. )
3. In my own bag somewhere. ( Everyone checked my bag just about the same times as Mel's. )

Hence, we concluded that someone stole it since it couldn't have evaporated into thin air just like that. But which demented fuckbrain stole it, I don't know and I hope you rot and die in Hell. Tomorrow is Monday and there's GP in the afternoon and I didn't bring home my question paper which equals to I can't write another new essay which equals to I'm going to get screwed inside out and upside down by Ting. OH MY GOD. I need to say a prayer.

I have a secret that I don't understand and I can't tell anyone. I wish I could talk to somebody like 75 Bucks. He would have done my essay for me too.





And I wish there was still someone around for me to talk to till dawn.


RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. STOP PEEPING AT WHAT YOU'R NOT SUPPOSED TO SEE YOU ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.


I've got a scar I can talk about;

10:43:00 pm

Friday, July 29, 2005

College Day can just about be summarised by two words: playing cards. The hall was neatly seperated into two with a clear aisle in the middle. Notes and tutorials in front, Bridge and Heart Attack behind. The back of the hall was transformed into a gambling den literally with the air fresh with shouts of " Heart attack! " This is what you get when you lock a school of crazy people in the hall for 3 hours looking at a screen telecasting the on-goings in the performance theatre. That is plain stupidity. And by the way, the *****ter of E****tion is very adequately PUNCTUAL. He only made us wait for one hour in the sweltering heat just to see him speed pass at 100km/h with his coat hanging over the windows.

Starburst Squirts is my life. (:

if the bright lights don't receive you, you should turn yourself around and come on home;

11:04:00 pm

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

some things you don't need until they leave you and they'r the things that you miss;

Prior to that, I'v had two whole days home alone for reflection and I've decided that one of my biggest faults would be taking things for granted. When people are nice for too long, you tend to take it in your stride and treat it as a part and parcel of your daily life. You tend to forget that one day they might just leave you and never come back. Everyone expects something in return when they give. Appreciation would be one of the lessons I've learnt in St Nics. (: A little note or postcard goes a long way in brightening up someone's day.

Forgiving and forgetting has never been one of my strengths. Till now, I still find it hard to do so. But I guess I'm proud to say I'v come a long way since then and I'm still trying.

Sometimes I think people are too nice to me I really don't deserve all they'v done.

9:29:00 pm

Monday, July 25, 2005

My body is plagued with so many illnesses ( fever+ flu+ cough+ headache+ sore throat ) maybe my soul should really just inhabit in a fishball instead. I hate cough syrups you know, the doctor's kind. They make you drowsy and you'll just start spouting nonsense like nobody's business. Parkway sucks by the way. The whole damned shopping centre is so big and there wasn't even a single clinic open for consultation at 5 pm. 5 pm in the evening isn't even an unearthly hour and it's too early for dinner I have no fetching idea why they'r all closed. I had to walk around with a splitting head and I think I'm going to die soon: from an overdose of cough drops ( I realised that they'r laxatives after eating 5 in 10 minutes ) and Panadol Extra Strong.

Mel is back and his new found hobby is to irritate me. I reckon it's the food in Korea.

I'm beginning to resent VJ's unstrategic location and Kampong-style life. I need to meet up with Daggers soon ( esp Flor and Chengs ) I'm losing all my St Nics glamour ( !!! ). I feel like such a kampong kid ( ugly + unglam ) I can just imagine myself rearing chickens and cows in VJ.

I've decided that I shall change D in Daggers to Doughnuts and Dimples. My current fetish. Drug addicts are out of fashion.

OH we're meeting the kancheong crocodile Tan Yupei on Fryyyday. Finally I can get scolded and nagged at for a change.

I almost forgot to comment about the abysmal revelation of Tree Trunks's mysterious beau. It's too ridiculous, I don't think anyone who knows Tree Trunk can believe it.


D= DOUGHnut; DIMples; DAGGERS

DAGGERSSSSSSSSS, PLEASE MEET SOON OKAY!

10:07:00 pm

Sunday, July 24, 2005

After a thorough discussion with many individuals, I've bowed down to fate and admit the grudging fact that I'm a very hard-to-like person. DAMN IT. And SC and RT and I have decided that I look like I'll have 3 sons. DAMN DAMN IT. 3 boys = triple smelly and noisy and naughty. THEN WHERE WOULD JAZELLE BE?! DAMN DAMN DAMN.

I think I ought to stop looking so fierce and intimidating. It's very scary or so I've realised/ found out.

I've decided that I like dimple boys. My 3 sons better have super nice dimples if they're going to chain me to a lifetime of smelliness and noise.

DAMN I need to rename all my kids. I need to have an intensive session with Sam tomorrow.

11:10:00 pm

Friday, July 22, 2005

The tears of disappointment, everyone's expectations. I don't think I can handle it if we flopped next year. It's too much to bear. Emotions running high everywhere, the sight of broken tears is enough to tear anyone's heart.



Somehow I think in Macritchie, it really doesn't go down to just doing your best. Because your best will never be good enough for others. Only the crystal trophy says the most. It's a cruel world out there.

On an extremely happy note, MELCOLM HUANG IS RANKED 9TH IN THE WORLD!Oh my god, Mel makes me feel like waving the Singapore flag around and broadcasting to the whole world that mel mel is 9th. He's coming back tomorrow ( YAYYYYY!!!! ). Life without Mel sucksssss.

By the way, I have a new eyecandy and he's not exactly new. His new found dimples interest me.

9:49:00 pm

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

JMG, LOVE ALL OF YOU !

Thank you sooo much! The poster is going to be mounted on my wall as soon as I find something that makes it stick. (:

10:01:00 pm

Monday, July 18, 2005

I have a very strong desire to throw up whenever I hear the word NATS. I'm so mentally drained I feel like just dying right now. The team meeting today totally sapped whatever that's left of us. I hope the day after tomorrow never comes. I hope there'll be a drought tomorrow and Macritchie would miraculously dry up. I hope somebody attempts to murder me. I hope the world ends tomorrow. Whatever that will prevent us from racing on Wednesday, I hope it happens.

I wish we were still in St Nics. Saying prayers every morning used to calm me down.

Dear Father, please grant us strength and courage to tide us through the race. Give us faith and confidence to carry on.

Damn, I feel like talking to you.

11:06:00 pm

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Everybody is irritating the shit out of me. [ Sam, TM (!!!) )

10:52:00 pm

Some things in this world you just can't change. And you ought to stop trying to change it. It's a fruitless cause anyway.

Today was probably one of the days when you see the reason to stay in the team. When you realise that there actually are people out there who'll stand up for you and guide you on. Thank you Mag and Alaric. Bird and I will never forget what both of you did for us today.


Sometimes, a thumbs-up after a race is all the encouragement you need.


Pride will see us through.

12:55:00 am

Friday, July 15, 2005

We so happily skipped water today. I don't exactly wanna see his face tomorrow, it kills my appetite for about the next 500 years. I just realised nats is approximately 4 days away, and I'v perpetually gave up on it. I ought to start praying that someone caps in our race.

I came to a realisation today that I'm quite incapable of emotions now. Nothing seem to faze me and I'v decided that I'm rather lousy at comforting people. I'v been suspecting for a long time that deep inside, I'm secretly an introvert at heart.

I hope Gary Chan doesn't scold me too badly on Sunday. That was very disappointing.

I miss Tan Yupei hell loads. The last time I saw her was on Sports Day. I miss her steady and calming presence, I miss all her naggings and scoldings. There isn't anybody keeping me in check and disciplining me now. I'm the one doing all that. OMG I MISS YUPEI HURRYING ME TO ASSEMBLY EVERY MORNING. I MISS HER SCOLDING ME FOR EATING LITTLE SNACKS WHEN SHE SECRETLY WANTS TO EAT SOME TOO. I MISS HER SCOLDING ME FOR SECRETLY EATING UP ALL THE FRUITS FOR BIO EXPERIMENT. I MISS ALL HER PERIODICALLY TOILET TRIPS ( SHE HAS A SERIOUS BLADDER PROBLEM ) I MISS HER SCOLDING ME FOR COMING BACK TO CLASS LATE FOR ROSALIND SOH'S LESSONS. I MISS HER REMINDING ME ABOUT ALL THE WORK WE HAVE FOR THE DAY AND THE THOUSAND CONSENT FORMS WE HAVE TO SIGN. I MISS HER SCOLDING US FOR FORMING THE ALREADY DISBANDED JAY CHOU FAN CLUB. I MISS HER SAYING, " YOU THINK I WANNA JOIN YOUR CLUB IS IT! " I MISS OCASSIONALLY MOCKING HER WITH VEE AND BIRD WHEN WE'RE FEELING BRAVE. I MISS DOING ALL THE LAB EXPERIMENTS WITH HER AND ALWAYS FINISHING IT FIRST BECAUSE SHE'S SO DILIGENT. I MISS HER SSSSHHING ME AND VEE AT EVERY ASSEMBLY. I MISS SINGING SONGS WITH HER AT MASS. I even miss walking down to the field every morning with you Tan Yupei. Tan Yupei is the first person that I met whom I liked so much for no reason. I MISS YOU SO MUCH YOU KNOW CAN YOU FEEL IT FAR FAR AWAY IN NJ?! ):

And PF, if you'r reading this, you'r missed too. We haven't talked properly for ages.

And DAGGERS, I hope we can at least catch up once before the party. SLEEPOVER?! MAHJONG?!

Oh I miss David too, I miss having a tiny person around to protect. David's like a small little mouse, so weak and vulnerable.( esp when everyone's eyeing her mahjong cards )

God, I almost wished JC didn't existed. We were all living so happily together in our own little St Nicholas family.

11:23:00 pm

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Really, fuck you isn't strong enough to dispel our hatred. Over my dead body will I wear the jersey.

9:51:00 pm

Monday, July 11, 2005

I think Panadol should add another disclaimer to their box: causes moodswings. My head was ready to split during Maths tutorial, and after taking the panadol I think my mood started swinging to the negative side with negative acceleration.

Huis, now I know what you mean when you said you don't really feel happy in SA because you feel bouts of loneliness even when you'r amongst so many people, talking and laughing. While stoning in the canteen today, I suddenly felt.. very lost. Everything suddenly looked so foreign and strange and unfamiliar at that split second. At that moment, I was wondering what am I doing there, this isn't the St Nics canteen. Oh, but I recovered at the next second, and started swinging from then. S.P.Y took a quiz during GP today ( secretly ) and the quiz told me I was schizophrenic. Gosh, that's true. It also said I was histroinic, which I forgot the meaning but its true too.

Sony Ericsson phones are the bestttt. Nokia seriously sucks. We spent 1 hour in vain printing from Steph's Nokia phone in Parkway when I printed it out successfully in about 5 minutes with Xiaohong's phone in Causeway Point. I'm going to get 750i next. Or maybe it was just Parkway. Causeway point is hipper after all.

Finally got to talk to Mel after soooooo long. Melcolm Huang, YOU ARE VERY SORELY MISSED! I was rather sad that we could only talk for awhile but ahh, the woes of a champion sailor. Oh, have you heard? Mel came in 1st for nats, he's the pride of JMG. I can't believe you'r flying again tomorrow, you'r too much! How can you abandon us for so long! )))))):

I think I'm cracking from the strain and pressure. There isn't anymore time to do anything else.
And it's only a freaking 8 days from nats. I really hope next wednesday doesn't come. It's all that's on my mind now.

9:50:00 pm

Sunday, July 10, 2005

There is no one else that I love more than Ivy Pan Jia Hui. OMG I LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND THE STARS AND TO PLUTO AND FURTHER AWAY! I was so touched by your surprise I started ****** again. No one else brightens up my day better than you and yes you deserve an Oscar for your acting you sly galzzzz. Ivy Pan so sneakily came to my house to pass me cookies when I was out for tuition and even managed to be so nonchalant when I called her. How sly you'v becomed!

Anyway I'm so drained and tired after tuition. **'s card is the hardest one I've ever made. I'v never felt more like a suak when Stephie Rach and I were totally stumped by the stupid photo printing machine. LIKE HELLO WHAT THE HELL why is technology so advanced now?! Printing a photo is even harder than taking midyears. I swear I'm not exaggerating.

And when we were already feeling so boggled by oscillations and photos, stupid Xiaohong and Jon had to come and confuse me even more. JONATHAN TOH I'M NOT GOING TO BELIEVE A SINGLE WORD THAT COMES OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH FROM NOW ON. YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF AND GO TO CHURCH FOR CONFESSIONS. They told me they were at Harbourfront taking a cruise to Malacca.


Have I ever told you how much I <3 Vee?

10:00:00 pm

Saturday, July 09, 2005

I'm really being too emo recently. It isn't even the right season to pms, WHAT'S WRONG?!


I can't believe I cried during training today. I'm so sorry. I kind of just broke down while ranting. We really couldn't take it anymore. At least the boys were nice. Thanks, we appreciate it.


Shoe-hunting at Queensway with Xiaohong cheered me up though. I was feeling quite despaired till Xiaohong spotted The-Shoe-Of-My-Life. We walked out of the shop thinking that the uncle ( AN ) was the best in the world cos he gave us 30% discount, only to walk into the next one and discover that they sell it for $10 less. But it's okay. I'm contented. It's nice and good. OH it better be.


Xiaohong is the tallest boy in the world now. He has attained the impossible by growing like 6 cm in less than a week. Last time he was only a bit higher than eye level, now I have to look UP to talk to him. He's now taller than Jon and Mel and going to overtake Derek to be the tallest boy in class soon. ( !!! ) All thanks to me pleaseee. If you wanna grow taller, please sleep from 1-3 and drink more milk and be a sporty boy.

HELLOO I MISS MY DAGGERS )))))):
I think I might die missing you all.

8:45:00 pm

Friday, July 08, 2005

A long time ago, you once told me, you can't lose me as your good friend. But now, we're not even friends. If I were to die tomorrow, you'd be the biggest regret of my life.

After a while you learn
the subtle difference between
holding a hand and chaining a soul
and you learn that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of woman, not the grief of a child
and you learn to build all
your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground is
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of falling down
in mid-flight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn


Been a long long time since I moodswang. On bad days like these, the only thing I feel like doing is eating famous amos butterscotch. Sanyuan show just ended, sad is an understatement. By the way, that's my favourite poem.

I miss the prata, stingray, and fishball noodle trips. Some things in this world you just can't change; some things you can't see until it gets too late.

Training's wonderful on days like these. I get to vent everything out in the water.

Maybe I'm Amazed, my new favourite song.

11:30:00 pm

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Seriously, not a single area of my body isn't aching. I hate boys, they don't seem to get muscle aches. AND I ESPECIALLY DISLIKE BOYS WHO KEEP PRETENDING/ FORGETTING THAT WE ARE GIRLS. Maybe they'v been kept in isolation for too long a time. Could all of you please please PLEASEEE try to remember that girls aren't boys? We can't keep doing pullups/ weights like you all do, try as we might. There is a limit to how much we can push you know. And we would appreciate it if you all would quit thinking that we're very slack just because we can't do 8412390482384 pullups. In case you all didn't realise, WE TRAIN HARDER THAN SOME GUYS. Thank you very much.

PJ
MJ
CJ
RJ
AC

The people we want to beat, but.. not likely we will. )))))))))): It's rather frustrating sometimes, training so hard and you know that all you get would probably be last. Second last would be nice, 4th would be amazing, getting into Semis would be a miracle and a dream come true. We don't even need to bother about what's beyond that. At least we got Lane 5, it's better than getting 3 or 4, happily being washed away by everyone's backwash. RAHHHH.


I'm terrified. Like literally. 13 more days..

9:18:00 pm

Monday, July 04, 2005

OH nothing like a great day out with Vee! Everywhere seems fun with her around even if it was like.. the toilet. Okay I'm exaggerating but you get the point. Bought some stuff, I'm such a frugal girl, I had LOTS AND LOTS of self-control today. I rejected a quik bag okay! That was because it looked like my mambo and ripcurl one, but I could have gotten it to complete the happily family. ( quik + mambo + ripcurl ) But yes we're supposed to upgrade! No more visits to Flash.

I'm feeling rather bitter today after watching a random show. I feel like whacking hockey balls. I misssssss the orange hockey stick I'm going to steal it from Xiaohong IT'S MINE. The orange hockey stick likes me too I know. I think my hair sucks it's damn ugly WHY LIKE THAT! I think I should go to Vincent for a haircut too. I have absolutely no desire to go to school tomorrow because school = training. I think we'r running 3748932749837 k tomorow I haven't even bought my new track shoes I'm going to die.

OMG I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE LAUGHING. HAHAHAHAHA VEE JUST FOUND THIS DAMN FUNNY NOTE I WROTE TO HER WHEN WE WERE YOUNG AND INNOCENT. The first fateful note that sealed our loves for each other. I think Sam's going to have a field day reading it. ( it reveals hidden prove of my lian lian past ) OMG I don't think I can accept myself. I'm so turned off. And the note revealed that I was the one who made the first move.( I can't believe it I'M SO SHY! HOW CAN THAT BE! )

Your dating personality profile: Athletic - Physical fitness is one of your priorities. You find the time to work athletic pursuits into your schedule. You enjoy being active. Stylish - You do not lack for fashion sense. Style matters. You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who doesn't care about his appearance. Outgoing - You can liven up any party. You've got a way with people and have little difficulty charming your dates.

Your date match profile: Athletic - You aren't looking for a couch potato. You seek someone who is active and who keeps his body in top shape. Adventurous - You are looking for someone who is willing to try new things and experience life to its fullest. You need a companion who encourages you to take risks and do exciting things. Outgoing - Shy and timid people are not who you are after. You need someone with a vibrant personality to breathe life into a relationship.

Your Top Ten Traits 1. Athletic 2. Stylish 3. Outgoing 4. Adventurous 5. Liberal 6. Big-Hearted 7. Wealthy/Ambitious 8. Practical 9. Romantic 10. Traditional

Your Top Ten Match Traits 1. Athletic 2. Adventurous 3. Outgoing 4. Stylish 5. Wealthy/Ambitious 6. Practical 7. Conservative 8. Big-Hearted 9. Traditional 10. Intellectual

Take the Online Dating Profile Quiz at Dating Diversions

I suspect I told Sam before I hate people who take quizzes. But Vee did it first so it's okay. And I happen to think its quite accurate. But nothing can be compared to the one Xiaohong and I took at the computer lab. THAT quiz was literally his life prophecy.

OH I realised something recently. The Reason doesn't make me sad anymore. (:

10:08:00 pm

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Gosh I think I've just been possessed by aliens from War of the Worlds. ( by the way, it sucks ) i actually;

1. GAVE MY SIS MY ROXY POLKA DOT WALLET ( you had to assasinate me to do that )
2. REJECTED MY MUM'S 100 BUCKS ( you had to kill me and chop me up and throw me into macritchie to do that and threaten to eat up all my cash )
3. OFFERED TO BUY MY SIS A ROXY PENCIL CASE

Shit I think I'm crazy.

Anyway, I'm feeling bitter. I pressed so much money off my card today and not even a single cent was for myself. Xiaohong and I had 4 bags of quik stuff and NONE OF IT WAS FOR MYSELF. ( AJSDKLFJSKLDFJKL;SDJF; ) By the way we found a cheaper ( by 2 bucks ) and just as good alternative for Elvis. ( since he apparently got kissed by a dementor and got kidnapped by Voldemort ) His name is Vincent and he thinks I'm Xiaohong's elder sister. ( HAHAHAHA ) He's probably the 384937240823908402398439084th person to think that Xiaohong looks like a small little boy boy. ( I've been trying to tell him that ever since forever but he's still living in denial )

Okay, off to J**** tomorrow with Vee. It better be productive. Or else I'm going to kill my s***** in a fit of angstiness and bitterness.

11:56:00 pm

Saturday, July 02, 2005

This is one of those days when I wished fervently I wasn't a Woodlander. Redhill is too far for me, I swelted out on 961 for 2 torturous hours before I saw the words Causeway Point. Oh my, how did I survive that I really don't know.

Anyway, sleepover at Xiaohong's was great despite Sam stealing my blanket and kicking me off the bed onto Ra. ( 7 people just can't fit into 3 mattresses ) I was so annoyed I decided to grab Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets and camp out on the sofa downstairs. We caught 10 things I hate about you the night before and omg I thought Sam would just die of bitterness right there. The movie was really sweet though, especially when he sang the song for her and the poem part! OHHHH. By the way, I discovered my much hidden talent in HOCKEY! I'm like an official hockey pro please! ( everyone agrees ) I was having the time of my life whacking balls against the wall till the police dropped by for a casual chat. I love Xiaohong's orange stick, the grip is so nice. Gosh I was secretly blown over by Xiaohong's hockey skills. ( he can do the round and round carousel-like thing which I'm trying to master ) Maybe we should stop saying that he's weak and unsporty.

Oh we had a good time at Ikea having meatballs and picking furniture for the big revamp project! ( Xiaohong's room ) I can't wait to paint his room and decorate it! Yet another JMG function to look forward to ( yayy) ! The present state of his room leaves much to be desired. My nose is still suffering from the over-saturation of dust.

I'm feeling too lazy to get out of the house tomorrow but there's the most important sale in the world. OH NO. And I feel bad about not playing badminton with Daddy, I promised him after all.

[edit] This world can't look any bleaker. Stephie just told me training's everyday starting from next tuesday, all the way till nats. And guess what! Land starts on tuesday! GOSH I guess saying WE'RE SO DEAD doesn't really help much now. [/edit]

10:26:00 pm

HEY YOU!

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