i can live without you`

2006-01-01T23:12:00.000+08:00

SHIFTED

only the first 10 people who ask me for the new one will get it.

2006-01-01T02:23:00.000+08:00

Reflections are in order, but I'm too tired. Short and sweet and to the point. Time to stop moping around. Approximately one year. STOP. I should do something instead of sitting around waiting for something to happen.

I don't think anyone's looking forward to 2006 exactly. EURGH very soon it's back to the 8-11 mugging plan.

I kept true to my resolution. My first completed one! I stayed sane and quit partying! SAY YAY!

Furla Lovers is on 30% discount. But Steph's mum slyly bought it for her already. The #1 rule of femaledom is never ever to get the same thing as your friend, however okay they might say it is. Because it really is not.

2 more days. I don't want to go back. I really kind of dislike Parkway.

I think a LAST LAST LAST mahjong session is in order. To perk things up. After all, I don't think we'll be playing anymore for the next 11 months.

2005-12-30T23:17:00.000+08:00

I've just been sent some GREAT GREAT GREAT news. This is undoubtedly the BESTESTESTEST timetable I've had for eons. Even better than secondary school!

That was before I saw 43 and 64's timetable. EURGH. I have to wait for BSR on Tuesday for 3 bloody hours before Gary Chan. Gary Chan starts at 430. I end at 1245. They end at 340. ))))): YUCKS.

By the way, my Shepherd's Pie was another GREAT hit today. It took me 4 hours. I brought it to F's house and her dad said it was VERY VERY VERY NICE. F said it was nice too! D secretly thinks that it's very nice but he adamently refused to admit it!

I'm having Pre( anti ) -School syndromes. Strangely, it includes Sniffing.

The only thing that's making me look forward to school is carrying my new bag and wearing my new dunks.

2005-12-29T23:20:00.000+08:00

I was analysing D's sister's blog for him and I realised that actually we really ought to give our sisters more credit than what they get. Somehow everyone around me harbours the same attitudes towards our sisters. Yes, sisters in particular, I have no idea why. I told Zirui today, " Stop looking down on your sister! " and I realised I myself was guilty of that very crime. I somehow saw the situation between me and my sister through D and Sister. It was a very genuine reflection. As I read on, I realised with laden guilt that actually.. our sisters like us alot. All they ever wanted was recognition and acceptance from us and we couldn't even give them that. Instead, we condemn them and sometimes, make them think that they'r near worthless. But actually, what they don't realise are our well-concealed, good intentions. For example, both D and I are very afraid that our sisters will be influenced and turn into LLs. Hence we take very drastic measures within all our means to prevent that from happening. For example, D's sister complains that he doesn't let her buy her BILLABONG skirt because BILLABONG's too LL; and I condemn some of my sister's actions when I think it's leading her straight to the LianLian path. But perhaps and may I say with extreme certainty that these measures are TOO harsh and slowly but surely, they begin to resent our authority.

I don't really dislike my sister you know. She gets on my nerves sometimes, maybe too many times. But after all, blood runs much thicker than water. I don't think anyone would really hate their own sisters. It's beyond siblinghood. Deep down somewhere, we all love our family members, as shabbily they treat us, or as shallow our relationship might be.

Sorry to all the sisters out there. We really mean well, even though we might not show it. Really, straight from the heart.

I think I ought to feel ashamed that I had to see all these through Daryl's sister's blog. Thanks Desiree.

I hope my own sister sees this. Because this is meant for you.

2005-12-29T20:51:00.000+08:00

I have this urge to spend more time with DAGGERS because the holidays are ending in just 4 and we probably won't meet up for the next few months. ))))): Eurgh, this sucks.

I feel like just hanging out at Flor's house until next Tuesday. Playing mahjong to earn $$$ to get my Furla Lovers.

My parents are very hip and cool, they'r going for midnight karaoke you know. By the way, it's Handsome Daddy's birthday today! Heart you very much! No matter how old you are, you'll still be very handsome heehee.

PF got rather agitated while talking about parents, married adults in general. " they stop doing things to make them love each other more " quote and unquote Mr Yong. He thinks it's a " curse of marriage " ! That day while I was walking home I suddenly felt like doing something for my dad and mum. I want to arrange some sort of candlelight dinner for them for their wedding anniversary next year! I'll discuss with my sisters. They deserve it so much because they'r the bestest parents anyone can have.

Birdie and I were discussing about school. I think I'll be quite sad if Pok leaves. He really is quite funny, despite not being in school most of the time, and intimidating the rest of the school when he is. He kept me company when I was sitting in the canteen alone one day!

You can't say I'm fickle because actually I'm just downright loyal;

2005-12-28T23:46:00.000+08:00

I miss my old racing goggles! I kept thinking I used to swim faster with the old ones when I was swimming with the new ones just now. I like Arena better than Speedo.

The new haircut was quite horrible at first. Then I flipped it over and it became nice. I'm that good, yes. I'm beginning to like short bangs.

I'm baking Shepherd's Pie tomorrow. Friday people, lucky you! We have a new oven that is very cool. You can cook, grill, toast, bake and fry with it. I can try out so many new recipes now! :D

I've always thought I was the worst person to be at loggerheads with, because if there's one thing I do best, it's ignoring people. I have this ability to act as if you were non-existent even though you might be just 2 inches away from me. Even me myself find this indifference callous, it's an extremely shabby way to treat people. Yet I can't help it if you forced me to do this. Some people really bring out the bitch in me.

My approach in life is very simple. If you'r nice to me, I'll be nice to you. I'm very nice to people I like. If you'r not, I'm sorry but I'm not a Saint.

2005-12-27T16:11:00.000+08:00

Vee was questioning my loyalties regarding soccer and ManU sometime ago. I used to like watching them play but truth is, I think I liked the company much much more. Somehow watching them with company seems so exciting while watching alone makes me fall asleep in 15 minutes. I haven't caught a single match for the whole of this year. I miss the late night- early morning matches. The crazy times when we would watch till 5 and go for school.

Please cheer up Vee, you'll get through this soon, I promise. I'll always be here for anything, anytime, always for you. <3

EURGH. I want the Furla Lovers Medium wallet. I hope $$$ flocks to me.

2005-12-27T00:06:00.000+08:00

STEPH AND I ARE AT RACH'S HOUSE!

helllloooooo!!!! ( rach )

We are TOO spontaneous for our own good. 11.30 pm at Suntec City and one sentence from RT and we were on the cab to Shelford Road.

" Eh, my house got nobody today. "

HAHAHAHAH I LOVE NICKYS! :DDDDD

2005-12-26T00:27:00.000+08:00

I had a long talk with my mum and dad, discussing about all the friends they had and how we used to do those 7 car trips to Malaysia when we were young and ignorant. We would switch cars at pit stops and laugh and giggle all the way to Penang or something, which was really crazy when you think about it because all our dads had to drive non-stop for 10 hours. We would go to beach resorts, sit on the banana boats, swim everyday and play and play and play. But good things don't last and because of one asshole everything came to an end. Eurgh. I hate men who have affairs I hope all of you get STDs.

Hence I've made a resolution to make an effort to keep up with friends. Not talking about Goldens, those are a must. People like Beatrice Mok, I really like her alot she's the funniest girl on Earth. David, she's the only David I recognise, no matter how many other Davids I know. It's a pity Crystal has drifted so far though. Sab, Rina, Becks, Alex and gang! We used to hang out so often last time. SSG! And the so many other seasonal friends.

However, with time, the small gap would have amounted into a huge gaping hole that's virtually impossible to bridge.

Even JMG drifted during the holidays. Okay, I guess it's safe for me to say I was the one who drifted from the rest. Oh well, sorry okay! We'll hang out again when school reopens. I have this conception that holidays are meant for catching up with people you don't meet often during school days.

Only one more week before it's back to hanging out at Parkway. I'm all set for school. I have the bags and shoes ( bought new dunks! ) and stationeries ready. All that's lacking is homework to be done.

Beatrice Mok tells me this blog is NOT private at all and many people know about it. HELLO, all you assholes if I did not tell you about this personally please show yourselves the way out because it's not for you to peruse at your leisure. I think it's time to shift. EURGH. So troublesome.

2005-12-25T00:10:00.000+08:00

Because it's Christmas and it's the time for truths and nothing but pure holy truth.

Being honest requires integrity, morality and so much more. Many a times, hiding behind a facade and telling lies would be a much easier way out. And yet, there are times when even the truth wouldn't help. Reality checks hurt the most, because the moment you fall from high-flying fantasies to cold hard truth, you realise that everything was just a mirage and it was never there. It's hard to tell the truth. It requires lots of moral fibre and courage. People fear telling the truth mainly because they don't know what is going to and what will happen after others know the truth. So they hide and they hide. And they live in their guilty conscience, fearing that one day others will know the truths that they try so hard to conceal.

Whether you agree or not, I sincerely think I've become a better person. I'm learning to give and not always to take. Learning to accept, and not to force. Learning to compromise, and not try to fight my way through. And most importantly, learning not to take things for granted.

I used to think everything comes naturally to me, all the good stuff. I never once appreciated what was given, I just took it all in my stride. Since young, everything came easily to me and it was all as natural as ABC. But I learned it the hard way and I'll never forget this lesson. For my mistake, I will wait. I will wait very patiently because I believe in karma.

Sometimes I feel very bad about myself because I know what a conceited and arrogant snob I've grown into in the 4 years in St Nics. St Nics is a wonderful place, the school that we spent the best 4 years of our lives in. However, the school politics that so mercilessly reign in our world has cultivated a flaw in all our characters. We think ourselves as superior and look down on all other lowly beings. Not exactly the equality in our idealistic society. But this phenomenon is prevalent everywhere and it will always be. There's nothing you can do to change it and nothing we can really do to change ourselves. Sad, but there it is.

This sounds strangely like an expository piece. I like to write. I wouldn't mind being a writer next time.

D, I want to watch the Family Stone!

2005-12-24T17:00:00.000+08:00

EURGH it's Christmas and I'm stuck at home with a burning 38.4 temperature.

SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.

)))))):

This really sucks big time you know. I can't stop sneezing and coughing, my head's bursting and I feel so weak.

But for now, let me say
Without hope or agenda
Just because it's Christmas
And at Christmas
you tell the truth
To me, you are perfect
And my wasted heart will always love you

Favouritest lines from my favouritest movie, Love Actually.

2005-12-24T02:13:00.000+08:00

I really like such heart-to-heart talks with Flor.

2005-12-23T23:41:00.000+08:00

DAMN IT I'm becoming Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer my nose is going to drop off soon from all that sneezing I used up one whole box of Flor's tissue paper today. I feel the need to add that I've been ruthlessly exploited and bullied by the Liu family today. I am very displeased about it because I realised that the tides have changed and now I'm constantly getting bullied! ASSHOLES. Only Huis is the best to me. But the Liu family really cracked us up today I laughed till I had a terrible stomachache but I suspect Mrs Liu added poison into the noodles she cooked for me. Her new hobby is ordering me around. CHENGS, we miss you!

Kiat and I realised that DAGGERS are getting old. ( or Ah Ma ) We do damn Ah Ma things like going for high tea and playing mahjong regularly. But it's okay, I like it.

I've been YAN for this whole holidays and I really love it so much I like people who call me my real name you know haha I don't really want to go back to school and be known as FISHBALL again it's getting rather annoying. I like Flor calling me YAN YAN HAHA.

Sending my heartfelt love to all DAGGERS!

HEEHEE :DDDDDDDDDDDD

2005-12-23T12:38:00.000+08:00

I must listen to Flor and not screw anything up again.

Because I've kind of forgotten the thrill and excitement of it all.

And most importantly, the euphoria that comes along.

(:

To Steph: HEEHEE ! :D

I really miss some people I haven't seen for quite some time. The stupid crazy irritating totally unsly lazy irresponsible STEPHANIE CHEONG; the equally unsly too honest too gullible too naive too innocent RACHEL TEO; the as sly as me, as talkative as me, as noisy as me, as loud as me, filled with gossips to the brim SAMANTHA LEE; and the rest of the JMG; ( sorry, up to this point I was too lazy to think of adjectives for everyone haha too many! )

Suddenly, Atiqah seems quite pleasant and maybe even AirPork looks skinnier. ( to Steph's delight )

2005-12-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

Something's been bugging me for some time. I need to get it out of my system I NEED TO RANT TO SOMEBODY! EURGH. I REALLY DISLIKE MY SISTER I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY MY PARENTS ARE SO NORMAL, I AM SO NORMAL, MY YOUNGEST SISTER IS SO NORMAL AND YET THE MIDDLE ONE TURNED OUT THIS WAY. SHE'S CRAZY, DELUDED, OUT OF HER MIND. SHE'S IN LOVE WITH MEDIACORP STARS AND SHE THINKS THAT'S NORMAL. SHE TAKES PICTURES OF JULIAN HEE ON TV. YES SHE TAKES PICTURE OF THE TV WHEN HE APPEARS ON IT AND SHE THINKS THAT'S NORMAL OH MY HOLY GOD AND MY DAD SCOLDS ME WHEN I QUARREL WITH OVER HER INSANITY AND WHAT KIND OF DELUDED MORON SHE IS. SHE REFUSED TO LET ME USE THE COMPUTER BECAUSE SHE WAS WATCHING SOME MORONIC JULIAN HEE SHOW. SHE CHASES HIM ALL OVER THE ISLAND WITH HER FAN CLUB FRIENDS SHE'S CRAZY CRAZY MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD MAD. SHE COPIES MY EVERYTHING EVEN MY HANDWRITING DO YOU KNOW THAT IT'S IDENTICAL. SHE'S A SLOB SHE DOESN'T DO ANY HOUSEWORK ALL SHE DOES IS LIE ON THE COUCH AND WATCH TV AND EAT WHOLE DAY AND SHE SECRETLY THINKS SHE'S VERY PRETTY SHE TAKES LIKE WEIRD PHOTOS OF HERSELF ( LIKE THOSE WEARING NOTHING ) BUT IN ACTUAL FACT SHE'S SO FAT. SHE COMPLAINS THAT SHE'S FAT AND ALL SHE DOES IS EAT AND EAT AND EAT. ARGH I HATE HER.

I'm going mad staying under the same roof as her.

I'm going mad having nobody to rant to.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Today the Vice-President of the Student Council asked me why I didn't join in with the mass dance. I told her I didn't know how to dance and I hated our school's mass dances. She thought I was mad. She said she liked the couple dance the best. I told her that was the one I hated the most. I think she burst an artery.

2005-12-22T12:13:00.000+08:00

Post-Overseas syndrome sucks much. It includes flu, drowsiness, fatigue and a runny nose. It makes you feel like just hiding yourself at home being a hermit crab. But NO because Audrey is mightily pissed at us ( Birdie and Me ) I have to brave through the rain to get to VJC for land training and bring some Dunkin Donuts to appease them. EURGH.

I feel like going church on Christmas Eve to sing Christmas Carols. Somebody invite me to their church. Only Catholics please. I only know how to sing Catholic hymns, those that we sing all the time in St Nics.

Christmas is a time for love and giving.

2005-12-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

There's a place that your mind persistently goes to,
that's where you really want to go.
There's a person that your eyes constantly stray to,
that's who you really want to be with.
There's a thing that your heart is perpetually fixed on,
that's why you feel the need to belong.

Maybe there's a ridge somewhere that I need to iron out.

2005-12-21T22:49:00.000+08:00

BACK! with a vengeance.

No, just kidding. But I'm back with 3 tops, 2 shirts, 1 jeans, 1 flip-flops, 1 clutch. And my absolutely FANTASTIC FABULOUS FAVOURITE buys were my 2 new school bags: my Reef Basket Bag and My Nike Brasil Sling. AND my gorgeous FEATHER heels. Lovely. I can't wait to show Flor my feather heels. And I'm already having a dilemma as to which bag to bring to school on the first day.

We met the Dancing Uncle again at Midvalley's Teppanyaki. Gosh, I still remember how he danced so happily while cooking Teppanyaki for us and how we met him on the train back. He was so cute! But he has stopped dancing. Why! ):

And we met Sam Soh on the streets. What a coincidence, I can only say that.

There are 12 doughnuts. 1 got squashed because the customs police manhandled them.

Happy to be back. Nothing beats being at Home.

2005-12-16T18:45:00.000+08:00

Some very urgent reminders before we leave:

STEPHANIE CHEONG AND FU SHUQI ( + RT ): Both of you are responsible for the abduction of my present!! I want it right after I come back okay! And don't forget you all owe me a slice of Starbucks cake! And we've yet to embark on our Nickys Marina steamboat journey.

DAGGERS: Flor, please arrange a ~~Nickys~~ DAGGERS ( sorry typo ) gathering at your humble abode again once I come back we'll have a Dunkin' Donuts feast at your house I'll buy back $50 worth of doughnuts for you all haha. DAGGERS UNION may be invited, if you wish. Oh and remember to book Huis first.

DARYL NG: You owe me my present also okay faster go get it if not you'll get your big box with nothing inside! And do your homework. ( 3D TRIGO ! )

Okay! That's all folks!

By the way, I'm Awfully Bruised! I have a very horrendous blue-black on my left forearm. It was discovered by Flor yesterday and has been steadily growing bigger. It now measures 4 cm by 4 cm approximately ( yes I measured ). And there's another bump on my head. The bamboo pole fell on me when I was hanging clothes. And Daryl Ng LAUGHED.

2005-12-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

My luck is steadily improving I've been winning for the past few mahjong sessions and my wallet gained another $5 today! But poor Daryl had a very hard time nagivating his way around the neighbourhood and ended up staggering through the muddy field haha. He blames it on my directions. ( !!!! my directions are how good you'r the lousy one you ass ) After one whole afternoon, he has mastered our art of counting without chips ( stock-broker's way according to Flor's father who likes Mary more than her ) even though there was a slight disparity in the winnings at the end. ( $0.20 short )

Anyway, Flor introduced TuTuKueh to me and I've decided the coconut ones are my new favourites.

You reap what you sow. This is especially true when you'r suddenly hit with the realisation that there's only 15 days left to the year 2006 and you haven't even made a dent in the mountain of homework. EURGH. I rushed online immediately when somebody reminded me today was 15 December, the dateline for maths homework. The day I entered JC was the day I relinquished my previous throne of Maths Peanut. Gone were the days where I got 92 for A Maths. And JCs are so sly!!! Why do they have online lectures and no notes?!

Judging by the state my desk is in, it's back to Macs at the last week of December to chiong everything out. GREAT. I need a Maths Expert with me too.

This is a call for anything from KL/ Malaysia. Vee and I are intending to bring back Dunkin' Donuts in bulk. Call if you want some!

This is so wrong. C and P will never approve of it.

2005-12-13T22:08:00.000+08:00

Some people are too poseur for their own good. Certain people have reached such a level of absurdity I cannot comprehend why it was invisible to me before this. The only reason that's available would be that I was completely blind and that was why I turned a deaf ear to Zr's advices. I'll listen to everything that you say from now on. Anyway, thank you PF+PFW for your present!

I was so Blind says:
tskk you all are so mushy i can't stand it
'Zirui' says:
hehe
'Zirui' says:
i like
'Zirui' says:
i love justina!

Oh my, I can't take it anymore. Sam, maybe you would like to start an Anti-PF+PFW Club with me.

By the way, I really hate people who spout hokkien vulgarities, verbally or not. Chia Ruyu, may I remind you that you'r guilty of that very crime!

2005-12-12T13:20:00.000+08:00

High Tea at Hyatt with DAGGERS was FFFFFFFantastic! I love such gatherings with DAGGERS, we talk and bitch and gossip and talk and bond and eat and bully each other. Once upon a time, it was bullying Kiat and Huis. Now, they're so brave they bully me and Flor. Anyhows, DAGGERS are always my favouritest girls. :D

Next, we Mahjong-ed at Flor's and tried to coerce Shunhong into marrying Kiat. We do ridiculous things I know.

My biological clock is terribly messed-up. These days I'm sleeping at 4 am and waking up at 1-2 pm. And I think that was why I did the most reckless act of my life last night.

It was an Emo night and it started off with a song, followed by a secret letter and ended with a very reckless SMS. I dug everything out. My secret book, my Sec 4 diary. And I turned even more emo when I saw the page Yupei drew on my diary. She drew a carrot and kailan and wrote Periwinkle and Daisy are good friends. It was the period when our Vege United was at its peak. She was Periwinkle Tan Luobo and I was Daisy Soon Kailan. We were young and innovative and bored. I didn't know the book I scribbled in contained so much memories.

The Knight Bus tickets, Hermoine bookmark and Sentosa ticket were the trigger. Reckless courage instigated me to do that. But somehow I don't regret it. I hope 10 years down the road we will meet again, sit down have coffee and laugh at our own silliness.

It's back to training now.

2005-12-10T23:38:00.000+08:00

I miss hanging out with a big gang of boys. Really. There's just something different from hanging out with girls. When you hang out with girlfriends, your mission is kind of to talk and talk and gossip and gossip non-stop. The point being,very noisy. On the other hand, when you hang out with guys, and when the boys overpower the girls by alot, all you have to do is sit down, keep quiet, listen, get insulted ( in a friendly way ) and laugh and laugh and laugh. Moreover, the quality and details of conversation are very different too. Boys, only two words, Talk Cock. The things boys converse and bond over seem so utterly redundant and irrelevant ( like army songs ) but yet they make it sound so funny. Girls talk about more serious stuff ( to us ), like who's hair is ugly, who's boyfriend is who and where's the latest sale.

I was quite reluctant to hang out with Elmo and gang because of our past hostility but I've been proven wrong ( to Ivy's delight ) and we're now.. acquaintances. But still, I prefer SSG and I really kind of miss hanging out with SSG with Flor. Invading Paragon Rooftop, Sentosa, late night Long Johns sessions, KL and everything. It's sad how we've all drifted to this state. Even though we were never really close, at least we hung out and had fun together.

WHERE ARE YOU!

YAYYAYYAY! PF IS BACK BACK BACK!

2005-12-10T00:35:00.000+08:00

Tons of people who are MIA and I miss, because they are all abroad, the old oak tree. Please return to the embrace of your homeland!

I just discovered very disturbing issues regarding my kinship. ( I hope this is ambiguous enough ) Needless to say, I am very appalled. She either has Schizo or she's mentally ill, and suffering from hallucinations. Damn.

I want to get a dress and go for dressy functions. With a partner in a classy suit. Really.

The wound itches. I can't wait to remove the stitches. Next wednesday.

2005-12-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

The cookies Sam, Ra and Xh baked for me! Yes it looks uhh gross HAHA, but seriously it tasted not bad we ate it during the movie. Give them credit for waking up at 9 to bake it.

Pei, the Great World City Shuttle Bus Woman.

YAY! My 5th wrapped up present!! Thanks JMG!

Sam's lovely designs!

Ra, Me and Pei!

Okay that's it for today. By the way, I really like my birks! Courtesy of DAGGERS + Ru!

I changed it to Madrid Cherry! Hope you all don't mind cos Neon Blossom's colour looked a bit off. But thanks dears!

2005-12-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

Day 2 of Celebration- most important day, celebrated with most important people= family, which includes Ivy Pan-Soon, newly adopted. We discovered a new place! Happiness= good buys.

1.33 am, I didn't wait in vain. (:

Thank you all of you! All your Happy Birthdays made me Very Happy! Including those from the Far-Away Lands USA and Thailand sporty peeps!

2005-12-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

and when the clock strikes twelve;

It's been a generally peaceful year. Not a very happy one. But survivable.

I'd be happy if you'd remember.
I'll cross my fingers,
Cross my heart,
And wait for your singing rehearsal.

I miss PF suddenly. Come home soon please. And the pretty boy.

YAY! Thank you loads all you pretty loveliessss! I feel so happy looking at MSN and seeing all the Happy Birthdays. ((((:

2005-12-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

EH I FORGOT A VERY IMPORTANT THING.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY HEART AND DIG AND LIKE AND LOVE WRAPPED UP STUFF. ( for example, presents ) HEEHEEE.

Okay, PF is flying tomorrow with the sportsssy peoplezz. He's skipping my birthday. ( 3 more days ) Sucker.

2005-12-03T21:54:00.000+08:00

I know I am stupid. I am the most stupid person on Earth but this was all, in fact the only sole reason that held me through the most gruesome 90 minutes of my life. The only other time I felt like this was when I thought I was going to die under the horrible SUV. I resorted to reliving the KL trip to direct my attention away from the pain.

I cannot describe how piercing the 10 jabs of anaesthesia was; or how excruciating the stitches were when the anaesthesia wore off towards the end. 6 bloody fucking stitches. It felt like 666666666666666 actually. I couldn't stop crying because the pain was so terrible I wanted to scream and run away. Or maybe just faint and die on the spot. But no the only thing anyone could have done was to bite your lip and grim it through. The moment it was done, I felt like the bravest girl on Earth. I ought to give myself 10 claps on the back for courage and bravery.

But the aftermath is equally bad. It's so painful I can't sleep. The doctor had to prescribe sleeping pills.

And hence I am confined to the walls of my humble abode for at least the next 3 days till I change my dressing on Monday. The dressing is damn ugly by the way, I can't risk going out in this state. I just hope it gets well enough for me to get out by next tues. Wednesday is the day of my life you know I can't miss it!!

This is my mood for the day, and probably the next few too ----> ))))))))))))))))))))))))):

2005-12-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

This post is to facilitate my dear friends in preparing for the most important day on Earth which is 5 days away. In order not to appear too thick-skinned, I have decided to do it this way and pretend to be an LL and have a WISH LISTZZZZZ.

First we need to have a WHAT-NOT-TO-BUY list:

1) soft toys/ keychains/ anything along that line
2) LL ( Lian Lian ) stuff
3) IT stuff ( you all should know how bad I am at it )
4) food ( although its nice but I can't keep it for goodness sake )
5) ornamental stuff ( not a fan )
6) clothes ( I <33333 clothes to death but I think I'll get them for myself. What if it doesn't fit/ doesn't suit me. )
7) CDs. ( I support piracy )
8) Surf stuff unless it's Paul Frank ( 17 marks a new beginning. Paul Frank is too cute so he's an exception )
9) generally, anything ugly.

Okay I've decided that I can't really list out what I want if not it won't be a surprise anymore. And I love surprises. HEEHEE. So the list above ought to be enough.

Nickys outing today turned out to be a very successful shopping trip. I bought 3 tops. I love my Dorothy Perkins shirt! It's going to be Nickys outing #2 tomorrow to Shuqi's paradise. ( it's a secret ) It's going to be an adventure of our lifetime and after that we'll head back to the kampong ( VJ ) for the choir concert.

By the way, I'm cutting my ear tomorrow. :/ I hope it doesn't hurt too much I'm really quite scared. Please pray for me and give me some moral support tommorow morning at 9 am.

2005-12-01T23:43:00.000+08:00

PF's computer is down because he stupidly lost his adaptor so his laptop is out of order and hence I can savely blog this down without getting blasted off to Mars.

I couldn't stop laughing for 15 minutes ( not exaggerating ) when PF told me about his gay encounters I didn't know he had possessed such prowess to attract even members of the same sexuality. I am very appalled with boys in boys schools and that forms just about almost all the boys I know haha I didn't know you all did this kinda things behind closed walls you all seem so normal out of school I'm having second thoughts about sending my kids to boys schools if this is what you all normally do. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sorry thinking about it makes me wanna laugh and laugh and laugh because it is too funny and horrifying.

Okay I promised PF that I will never ever disclose his deepest darkest secret so I can't say what the encounter was about. But you get the level of hilarity, I couldn't stop laughing for 15 minutes. Really.

PF, you'r priceless. Pricelessly gay.

And speaking of that, PFW is so poor thing my PF is secretly gay what is she going to do! We bought her a little exotic welcome-home-from-cambodia present and I think Sam was a bit shocked. The first thing she heard from PF's call was, " Sam, what's your underwear size? "

2005-12-01T13:23:00.000+08:00

Sam made me do this.

5 weird/random stuff about me:

1. I cannot bite whole apples. Especially refrigerated cold ones.

2. I am a bookworm. I have to read every night. If not I can't sleep. If I don't have a new book to read, I'll read Harry Potter and that explains why I can quote line-for-line. I bring books along with me when I go overseas so I can read before I sleep.

3. The thing I like most in a Sushi place is their little tubs of ginger. I can finish the whole tub. No kidding. I hate everything else there. Besides the Tamago.

4. My secret ambition is to be a housewife. My favouritest hobby is cooking.

5. If Halls Lemon ( the sweet ) decide one day that there are side effects prior to long-term consumption, I'll be the first to die because I have to eat at least 1 tube a day. It's an addiction worse than heroin. I estimate myself to have at least spent a few thousand on Halls already.

This is stupid but it's okay I have nothing else to do besides aching. Audrey I love you for cancelling training today. Okay, I can't wait to meet PF later at night but I am absolutely not going into Indochine. ( we spent 2 hrs deciding what he can wear last night ) Not that I want to. It's so weird going for J2's post prom. Can you imagine ... ( dancing ) with somebody halfway only to find out that he's B*W** ( this is a private joke between me and Sam. we haven't laughed at him for quite long. )

Very very very very very bored, ( Channel 55 has failed me there's nothing else to watch ) I want to play mahjong. Where is Daryl, the Compulsive Gambler?

2005-11-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

We met Andy Lee Kah Fatt while training today. Oh how we miss that LauSaiBoy and Olive. They were the nicest boys we ever met in VJ. Only thing is that they'r not here anymore. ):

The ridge between my thumb and forefinger is in a very bad state. It's brown and red and sore and.. yucks. According to MOK, you'r not a kayaker if you don't have this blister.

Okay, this is weird. ( to Steph: it is ) But I don't think anything's going to happen.

I don't understand why some people publish their numbers on MSN. This primary school friend of mind just popped up: JIAYI: 97365827 ( random numbers do not attempt to call ) Weird.

The Deer's a Dear.

2005-11-29T22:02:00.000+08:00

I earned a measely $1.50 at mahjong today, which is already not bad, considering the row Daryl Ng was in. He's a sucker he won $15.50 he refused to stop winning until I couldn't take it and forbade him to game anymore. At that moment ( after East, South, West, but mostly it was stuck at D because he kept winning and winning and winning and winning and winning. ) Kiat and Shunhong were already at the point of sunken depression, having lost every single game to Daryl and me. ( but it was Sucker 90% Me 10% ) We were going a bit mad we started going crazy and losing on purpose to them haha. ( but they only won one game each in the end ) Shunny lost so much he had to borrow from the bank ( which was the set of chips ) and Kiat had to dig from her poor Froggy piggy bank haha. But it was quite fun, been a long time since I played with Mr and Mrs Liu. I like mocking Shunny about his mother-in-law. He's a bootlicker he bought BAK KWA with the intention of getting into her good books but he was too chicken he didn't dare to talk to her HAHA. Weiren I hope you get thrown into the pool at 3 am after being barbequed!

I found Florida's All Natural Fruit Nuggets! I like Blueberry and Strawberry!

I can't believe PF's going on thursday. He just has to go to the one party that I'm not going. GRRR.

BY THE WAY, check out the results of the SEA games today. Under Sailing-Men:

Melcolm Huang and Chung Pei Quan- 1st in Race 1 and 3, 2nd in Race 2.

YAY! I knew Mel would do us proud. We're waiting for you to get that Gold medal back!

2005-11-27T15:54:00.000+08:00

Work at Hyatt was TRAUMATISING with a very very big T yesterday night. I spilled F&N Orange over this woman who ranks 1st on the BitchChart together with Cockroach and Wicked Witch. Get this, she scolded me till I cried. FUCK YOU the only other time was when Oh See Moey scolded me in Sec 1 for skipping CCA too much. BITCH. It's not as if your dress was even nice it was the fugliest piece of cloth I've ever set my sight on. YUCKSSS. But the rest of the people were super nice about it. Gary didn't even scold me! He said he'll scold the woman for me if she scolded me again ( as if ) but well, he was trying to cheer me up.

AND THEN. As if that wasn't traumatising enough. When we were holding the first dish ( those kind with music ) and walking out, suddenly I heard somebody called FISHBALL!! I whipped around only to find MARK sitting there, wearing PF's hawaiian shirt. ( What's with that anyway, the shirt makes Sam appear to be the most fashionable one on Earth. If you get my drift. ) I was so freaking shocked I kind of exclaimed, " MARK!!! " and nearly dropped the plate. At this moment I looked at Bird and we exchanged an OH MY GOD look. But Mark was very nice he talked to me. Can you imagine if JUICE was the one sitting in his place I think I'll just faint on the spot. Oh, I forgot to ask Mark if the bitch was his relative.

AND THEN. I almost died waiting for the freaking NR2 to come. I waited for a bloody 1 hour ( 60 minutes okay! )

One good thing was we koped a lot of food today ( After learning from all the experienced people there ). Huis stole a plate of Scallops ( !!! ) Bird provided us with Brownies. I ate some fried prawns and dessert. But we were still very hungry.

The only happy thing is our sale splurge. Bird and I went crazy in that little room. We went in saying, " Okay, let's just buy ONE sweater. " We came out after pressing $284.70 off my card. There goes all my work money.

2005-11-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

YAY SAM IS BACK! Coolness I missed my HP soul mate #1 very much. Even though I have already found HP soul mate #2, ( Siyou ) Sam is irreplaceable in my heart. We're going to wait for the VCD for GOF to come out so that we can watch it together and start clawing at the characters.

I believe Huis and I found the best job in the world. It's $50 per day and we only worked for.. TWO HOURS so technically its $25 per hour. This was our day:

1130 am: Reach Isetan Wisma only to find the people there having a communication breakdown. The woman didn't know where the brochures were so I asked if we could go eat first and she said yes. We ate Macs.

1 pm: Reach Isetan Scotts. Collected huge stacks of Ralph Lauren brochures. Hid in ulu pok part of town to give them out.

2 pm: Finished the huge stacks because we were so good at giving brochures. Went back to get more.
Woman: So fast?! OH NO there's not much left! ( gives us some more brochures ) You all slowly give until 530 okay!
So we went to eat mango dessert. ( the one Tree Trunk tried so hard to con PF into going with her )

3 pm: Started work. Too tired. Threw away uhh a few. But at this moment, this woman approached me and said, " I think you'r very professional ( YES, ME ) I want to hire you! " Okay so that might not be her exact words but that's the gist of it and YES SHE SAID I WAS PROFESSIONAL I'M NOT LYING. And hence she gave me a job. HAHA I'm so good at jobs you know.

4 pm: Shagged like hell. Ate Mos. Went back to the counter. The woman said we could go home already.

So Huis and I went to shop with Qings. They went Hyatt I came home. It's IJTP's graduation at Hyatt today! DAMN should have went today. So many pretty girls.

2005-11-22T23:47:00.000+08:00

Had to post this, too ridiculous HAHA. In case any ACS peeps come along, D**** ( C** H*GH )sent me this.

I like the WAIT LONG LONG part.

... ah hum the ballless creature who backs out of doing forfeits says:
DONT CARE LAH JUST PUT FOR ETERNITY
... ah hum the ballless creature who backs out of doing forfeits says:
after all its nothing but the truth what
... ah hum the ballless creature who backs out of doing forfeits says:
hahahaa

TOO MUCH LAR!! HAHA BUT IT IS SOOOO FUNNY!

... says:
LOOK I'M POSING BUT I DNO WHAT I'M POSING ABT

... is being witty, SO UNBELIEVABLE.

[edit]
P.S. Names of characters involved have been censored to protect identity.
[/edit]

2005-11-22T22:13:00.000+08:00

I was chilled to the bone today. Out in the rain in Kallang for 3 fucking hours. We were so cold we weren't cold anymore, if that makes sense to you.

Goblet of Fire sucked, like all the others. It was so fucking scary. And I really hate the new Dumbledore. HELLO YOU'R SUPPOSED TO BE KIND?! NOT SO FREAKING ANGSTY AND FRIGHTENING. There were so many flaws to the movie I don't even feel like listing it out. I'll wait patiently for 2 more days when Samantha Lee comes back and we'll have a good bitching session about it. The casting was horrifying. For example, Neville's supposed to be fat, Madame Maxime was supposed to be fat, Cho Chang and Fleur was supposed to be pretty etc etc. Not to mention the million of parts that were cut out. WHERE IS QUIDDITCH, WINKY, DOBBY AND EVERYTHING ELSE?! I hate it when they change the lines, because I can't quote them anymore HAHA. The only redeeming factor was Fred and George ( I love them ) and pretty pretty Hermione. ( but she wasn't even supposed to be pretty AT ALL ) Gross.

Girl talk makes me happy. Had long session of Girl Talk with Vee Siyou and Qiaoying. I drank about 20 cups of green tea ( to get our money's worth ) and went to the toilet 5 times in 15 minutes.

I found a new job $200 in 4 days. I don't know why I'm so actively seeking jobs it's not like I'm even hard-pressed for money or anything. I am so weird. I really kind of like to work.

I have a secret. I don't like to eat apples whole ( without cutting ) because I can't bite into them. I have rather weak teeth. I need my dad to bite the first bite for me.

Yong Zirui, I hope you read this somehow because I haven't talked to you in 123478932749238472398 years and I am rather upset about it. SERIOUSLY.

2005-11-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

I think Yong Zirui died and went to heaven without telling me.

I swear he did.

2005-11-21T12:47:00.000+08:00

My heel was bleeding, my toes were screaming, but we were very happy. (:

That sums up my very first day at work. I feel so happy thinking that I earned $45 all by myself! Hyatt was good, because everyone there was so nice. We were rather intimidated at first because the people there were all from either Myanmar, China or India. BUT they impressed us with their professional skills ( like holding the very heavy plates laden with food ) and friendliness. The highlight of the day was the GRAND DESSERT ( there was CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN PLUS MANY OTHER NICE FOOD ) which David ( nicest Indian I've ever met ) our captain, told us to chiong and eat everything up before the bitchy uncle cleans up. Nothing could have prepared you for the stampede and mad rush for ice cream and strawberries. Bird was atrocious! She ate up all the strawberry toppings on the cake, without eating the cake. I ate 3 scoops of Hyatt ice cream and according to Gary ( captain #2 ) it costs a grand total of $24. St Nics girls are all too spontaneous for our own good. We happily agreed to stay back to do OT till 2 am. Oh and by the way, we were rather pissed at first because they forced us all to buy the badge which was bloody $5 ( !!! ) and they forced me and Dong to cut our nails with a SCISSORS ( !!!!!!!! )

I am so so so tired. All I need is a humble boy.

We are so terribly sorry for skipping training, but I only reached home at 3 am, it's impossible for me to wake up at 6.

2005-11-19T22:54:00.000+08:00

I hate doing girls pushups. My knees are skinned so badly, it was bleeding! So painful! ): Haven't had such a motivating training in such a long time. All it took was a mere, " The girls are good. " YAY, we were so happy and motivated it was the best training in a very long time. We found a tactic to shut him up too. That is to keep quiet instead of talking back, and just pretend to be very tired. I hope he brings his son along to every training because he's so nice in front of his son. Oh well, I hope the guys get their fighting spirit back. It's rather disappointing looking at the state they'r in now. I wish they wouldn't seperate themselves so much. It's been a long time since we had full team lunch.

So the IT people didn't want us. There goes my $400. My dad doesn't want to fetch me tomorrow night either, so I can't go for the Hyatt banquet. GRRRRR. When is $$$$ going to come my way.

[edit] PF, WHERE DID YOU DISAPPEAR TO? )): [/edit]

2005-11-18T22:28:00.000+08:00

The interview was a total flop. And the reason was very simple. The job was for an IT FAIR. Get that, INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY. Too bad Sam's away, I would have called her first thing after the interview and let her laugh all she wants.

This was what happened.

Before the interview:
We were sitting in the room waiting for out turns and happily saying that they'll accept us because we could speak English fluently and VJ and HC looked so much better than the other 2 Jurong JC girls who were in there from 2002-2005. ( I secretly peeped at their forms, I didn't know you could retain so many years )

During the interview:
That guy pointed to this rectangle box and asked me to promote it. One look at it and I panicked. It only looked like a rectangle box to me and nothing else. He said I could flip over and look at the instructions. But all I could see was numbers and the only thing I could understand was " COMPATIBLE WITH WINDOWS XP ", that I know at least. It was a USB Port Hub.

Then, he pointed to the plug of the mouse and asked me what's that. I told him the mouse came in 5 different colours. ( that's what they said on the box )

So I guess it's safe to say we won't get it cos Bird's turn was somewhere along the same line as mine. And in our defence, Daryl wasn't sure what all those was about too. But DAMN, I was already thinking of what to buy with the $400. ):

Winter Time called me to say I've been hired. I think they got hooked by my " I LOVE WINTER " ( I wrote that on my form ) But I don't think I'll go for the job, it's so freaking long 7 days a week. I think I should just work for 1 week, get $250 ( its $1000/ month ) and quit. But the problem is they only like me, they didn't call Bird and Yiling. DAMN, I'm just too lovable I guess. But I don't want to eat lunch alone, it's too sad.

2005-11-16T22:21:00.000+08:00

THIS BOY IS WANTED!!!

( FOR BEING TOO WHITE, PUN INTENDED IN EVERYWAY )

I really wish I can let it go but I just can't I don't know why I hate it I want to talk to PF.

I AM ABSTAINING FROM CLUBBING FOR A MONTH. SO I WILL NOT GO TO ANY PARTIES TILL DECEMBER 5TH. STOP TEMPTING ME ALL YOU SUCKERS. NO, NOT EVEN THE NEW CLUB OR THE THREE-STOREY ONE.

I will stick to my resolution like mud.

2005-11-15T22:06:00.000+08:00

Celebrated Cheng's birthday with DAGGERS. Happy Seventeen Cai Cheng Ying! I bought this amazingly pretty crown belt, but I was too stupid I left it with Flor and she's flying off tomorrow. I can only see it 3 weeks later. ): I love DAGGERS, been so long since we met up and Flor and Chengs are flying tomorrow. DAMN, I'm stuck here with water training at 745 am tomorrow. A few more hours before I say goodbye to my fair ( still very dark ) self. I really don't want to become black again. )))))):

It's so depressing thinking about how black I'll become. I wish I could go for bleaching or something. Oh well, Happy Seventeen Queen of PF's ( insert Retarded ) Heart ( PFW ) too!

Can someone be a dear and change my layout for me? I'm getting very sick of staring at this white stuff.

I'm in a really dreary mood today. I miss the occasional days when Ivy would meet me at Admiralty and we would go to school together. I miss the days when DAGGERS ( usually only Flor, Kiat and Me. Chengs and Huis forever MIA ) would eat recess together. I really miss having Yupei in class. I miss your daily sms in class. I miss skipping CCA every week to meet you. I miss waiting for you at that spot at the traffic light and having you jump on me and me getting scared every single time. I miss eating with you because you always eat so much and eat my leftovers. I miss taking 161 and calling you when I see the kelong and you'll always take so long because I always call too late. I miss our little walks.
Okay, I'm not supposed to do this. Bye bye.

2005-11-14T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'm happy. I met up with the whole of Nickys in Pairs. ( Bird + Rach/ Steph + Shuqi ) My Pasta Salad with Tuna was obviously a big hit in school. Jon gobbled it up, Ra ate about half the tub, PF ate it even though he doesn't like tuna and he said that his classmates ( Wonka + Bubbles + Blossom ) all said it was VERY VERY nice. HAH. Take that! Caught Just Like Heaven with DNWR. Funny + Sweet = My Favourite.

Suddenly, the holidays seem rather long and boring. I'm forming a Mahjong Association with DNWR. Please contact us if your house is available for mahjong sessions. ( day / night ) Must be equipped with Mahjong Set. ( tiles + table ) And preferably beds, for night sessions. Only fast and experienced players wanted.

Goblet of Fire is out. WTH. But its okay, I still haven't found a HP soul mate #2 to watch with me. Worst come to worst I'll sacrifice and watch with Ivy Pan the biggest HP idiot on Earth. At least I can have the satisfaction of explaining it to her.

2005-11-13T22:12:00.000+08:00

I believed I've just been made the dumbest person on Earth. Sam bluffed me that she was online on SIA with their newest in-flight online technology and I believed. She even said she hit turbulence when she got disconnected. And I took all of that in. Click HERE for more information.

I am so stupid. Sometimes. Only sometimes okay. ONLY.

My hands are itching again. DARYLLLLLLL WHERE ARE YOUUUUUU and when are we playing mahjong!

2005-11-12T23:05:00.000+08:00

You are Red Koala who is cheerful and happy person.
You are friendly to every one, but at the same time, you are a person who doesn't want to lose, and are strong person.
You also have a very emotional side, and can not turn down favors.
You act like a big sister to every body.
You are a type of person who takes things too seriously.
You can get heated up on something, yet can quickly lose interest.
You are very sensitive to trends, but have a tendency not being able to use that advantage.
You are very passionate and emotional person.
You have lots of likes and dislikes.
You tend to act on emotional spur than by reason, and can be very nervous.
You also worry great deal, and therefore sometimes end up not being able to exhibit your talent. You have natural instinct, and are good negotiator.
You will say things in straight forward manner, and although you tend to be a rational person, people often misunderstand you as being selfish.
This is because your ideas cover too wide aspect, and do not know where to stop.
To use this unique talent, you should find someone who is wise enough to understand and realize you.
He will lead you and draw out your talent to its greatest.
You should always try to train mentally and physically.
If you can make use of your personal interest, you may find a side of yourself, you didn't realize before.
After marriage, you will keep the house secure for your husband, and at the same time keep your own career.

The English sucks but I think it's pretty freaking accurate for me on the whole, especially the bold-ed parts.

CLICK!

Mel and Sam are flying off. Get that Gold medal back Cherry! And you better come back on 6 Dec on the dot if you extend your trip you die. Sam, I hope you get a nice tan in South Africa so that you'll stop being yellow and come back soon, we'll discuss HP movie okay.

2005-11-12T16:11:00.000+08:00

This is the show that got us hooked from 6pm to 5am. And had Steph and Rach camping out on my sofa and Bird giving up and slyly sneaking onto my bed at 230 am.

I like the way his smile reaches his eyes. That's the way you smile. You always look so genuinely happy it never fails to cheer me up.

Okay, I'm embarking on an extensive journey to further perfect my already-fantastic cooking skills. I'll be taking on Scallopino Fettucine next. Book in advance if you like scallops. By the way, I made scrumplicious Pasta Salad with Tuna that serves about 100. Call if you want some.

2005-11-10T23:31:00.000+08:00

I want to go to exotic places and do out-of-this-world stuff that provides me with super duper thrills that gives you those fantastic adrenaline rushes. I don't mind doing things that will give me lots of $$$ too because I just searched out this pair of amazing heels that's too good to be true. With rhinestones. Feel my love for it.

Harry Potter Gurus, please contact me if you want to join my cult.( which consists of me and Sam ) There will be an interview of course. Only real true-blue fanatics like us are allowed. People like PF who haven't even read the cover of the books, please repent on your sins you sinners.

2005-11-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

GOOD DAY OUT! Had SOOOO much fun tricking Sam and celebrating her 17th for her! Alright I'll let the pictures do the talking!

After OP! HAPPY IS ME!

Waiting for 36 at the bus stop.

Our food with SMOKE at Seoul Garden.

Mel pretending to be a Sugar Daddy. Check out the hole at his tummy. He's too fat. It's going to make the papers tomorrow. National Champion Sailor has FLABS with the FL.

Yes, this is Cherry, National Champion Sailor. Gosh, to think the future of our country depends on him.

Sam and Mel with their Cockles.

Me Pei and Xiaohong with our Prawns.

Sun-Kissed! Once upon a time in Sec 2, Amanda Phoon did this and got a terrible scolding from me.

Sam was pronounced Woman of the Table. She beat Mel in EATING. This shows Sam, the Victor and Mel, the sore loser.

The ultra creepy photo I took of RA. It was actually Mel walking past. It looks like a ghostly face.

More embarassing photos of Cherry. This is him scratching his armpits FURIOUSLY. HAHAHAHA.

Us all! We were extremely cramped up.

Playing at LEGO ( NOTE: RA ) Me killing Sam, Mel acting like a retard, as usual.

Sam and Xh riding the lion.

Sam sitting in her corner being sad after she got abandoned by us. We thought she was going to cry. But..

Surprise! How could we bear to abandon her?!

Her wonderful cake that Xh and Mel sprinted 7 stories to buy. Check out the outer printed layer, it's all chocolate!

Us being disgusting and digging into the cake with our fingers. We didn't even wash our hands.

Digging and digging..

Remnants of the cake.

HAPPY SEVENTEEN SAMANTHA LEE QIU HONG! ( we attempted to make a public announcement for her when we lost her but the woman didn't make it ) The white thing says HAPPY BIRTHDAY by the way.

2005-11-07T22:58:00.000+08:00

Alright, no prizes for guessing who this is. Check out the mushroom hair. Had dinner with this Mickey but she's sick, hopelessly in love with You-Know-Who, who finally had a good sleep last night after ManU's 1-0 win over Chelsea. No prizes for guessing who's You-Know-Who either.

My trusty phone has finally died on me. I was so sad because this is my favouritest phone ever, it has stayed with me day in day out, through my darkest moments and it has never abandoned me. I rushed home AFAIC ( As Fast As I Could ) to grab the warranty and check out the expiry date. I remembered vividly I bought it on one of the days before the History and Chemistry paper, which equals to The Guava Day. AND I found out that incidentally it was on 11th November, which looks kind of familiar because it's my HP pal's date of birth. ( eeyer, stop haunting me, you ) The current phone that I'm using is too high-tech for me I am experiencing troubles typing and everything. All I need is a humble phone, to stick through thick and thin with me. Or brave through THE STORMY SEAS. ( Flor, laugh! Meet soon by the way, preferably at your house, mahjong session! )

It's the final day tomorrow and after 11 am it's GAME OVER. I don't have to see all my group members ever again, on a personal basis that is. YAY I am so looking forward to it. PW is really an unnecessary evil you know.

2005-11-06T22:46:00.000+08:00

Maybe it would be faster to kill me because I can't think of any other ways to die faster than go for training at 730 am and run 6 kilometres AND do our brand new gym routine after that, which pretty much includes a few hundred reps of everything. We do weird exercises like Military Press and Skull Crush. It sounds like Boot Camp to me.

I called Sam just now, with extreme anticipation, to invite her to watch Goblet Of Fire with me, but she had to crush all my hopes. All my life I've been waiting for Sam, my soul mate, to appear. She's the one and only soul on this Earth that possess the ability to quote Harry Potter line for line with me. Ever since the day I knew her ( okay maybe not ), I've been waiting to watch the movie with her so that we could have a competition on What-They-Are-Going-To-Say-Next. Seriously, we CAN quote scene for scene and line for line. The funniest incident has got to be the day at Gary Chan when he said he was going to Egypt and I turned around and looked at Sam and we were like, " LIKE THE WEASLEY'S! " I swear we're maniacs. Samantha Lee you better watch all the rest of the movies with me okay! All the way till the last one.

For the past 4 years, I've been annoying people by telling them what's gonna happen next and what they'r gonna say. Finally, I have a pal now. And she looks like this:

But very unfortunately, my pal would be far far away in Cape Town on 17 November. Sad, I am.

So freaking annoying, I can't watch ManU Chelsea now. )):

2005-11-05T17:13:00.000+08:00

I'm a freaking good cook, if I do say so myself. My Carbonara went down a storm, I think I'll try out Alfredo next. I could give cooking classes for extra income. I love cooking for people I like.

You don't have the capacity to love. Maybe I don't. Life's a bitch. I cut my big toe and it started bleeding non-stop.

I'm sorry I missed our tanning trip dears, will make it up to you all soon. Hope you all had fun.

AND I got cheated. The supposed bash's gonna be freaking boring. It's a get together for HI-I'VE-NOT-SEEN-YOU-FOR-FIVE-YEARS friends of my mum's, in disguise. DAMN. She just knows how to hook and trip and deceive me into agreeing to go. The highlight of the day's gonna be who's daughter grew taller.

Call and message please! I need it. ( red for urgency )

2005-11-04T23:25:00.000+08:00

felt so happy for all of us to be all sitting together, laughing over nude beaches and AR's latest gay debacle. - Sam

I second that. Cheers JMG, and Happy Seventeen.

Insensitive people make me tick. My dad drilled this into me: you live for others, not for yourself. He's not saying you should be Mother Teresa and be self-sacrificial, but please do spare a thought for others. You and you. Both of you are so selfish and insensitive, it kind of spoiled my day. Sorry, I had to get it out of my system.

I'm getting impatient again. That happens, when I'm irritated. Maybe you should just get the hint and go away. I can't stand people who pretend to know everything when you freaking don't know anything at all. I hate people who pretend to have alot of friends too. When in actual fact, those people don't even know you exist. Stop pretending to be hip or whatever.

On an entirely different happy note, there's Sentosa and birthday party tomorrow. 21st birthday bashes are always fun.

I'm very excited about my new project! I really secretly think I'm an artist at heart. I come up with so many creative and exciting ideas Steph and Rach couldn't resist stealing all of them. I have a feeling this is going to be yet another masterpiece. (:

I miss late night Jalan Kayu prata trips. Even though they were so sinful. I want prata with onion.

2005-11-03T22:24:00.000+08:00

I love Dimsum, it's the only time when I can put my limited knowledge of Cantonese to good use: HAR GAU, CHEE CHEONG FUN! It was another fruitful day out. I got myself a nice smart jacket that makes me look like a tai-tai. YAY I'm going to wear it when DAGGERS go high-tea at Marriot ( or was it Goodwood ) on MY BIRTHDAY, which is DECEMBER 7TH. ( just a gentle reminder ) DAGGERS READING THIS, PLEASE REMEMBER OKAY YOU ALL PROMISED ME TO GO HIGH TEA ON MY BIRTHDAY.

And so far, besides PF, I have not received anymore news of people going away on my birthday. Important people, ( actually it's pretty much people who are reading this. Unless you accidentally chanced upon this through Sam's hidden link or for whatever bizarre reason. ) please report to me if you'r going away okay. If not I'll kill you.

Have I mentioned that I am pretty peeved that Han and Yang are not going KL with me I mean we're supposed to go overseas every year together you know. It has been like that since we were born for god's sake. And Yang not going means nobody carrying my bags for me, nobody giving me all the veges and food that I like, nobody for me to bully. I hate him for changing everything. We can't even go to the birthday party together, all that bastard's fault. I really really miss driving up to Malaysia, all 7 cars and 7 families. But you know what, that's never ever going to happen again. I am so freaking pissed. At least Bird and Vee are going with me. They more than make up for it anyway.

I have a new resolution. I am going to abstain from clubbing for a month. ( in honour of Grandpa's wise words ) So don't attempt to tempt me to parties. I'll be an angel for a month. ( because I don't think I can bear to miss the Christmas parties ) And I'll only associate myself with humble kids.

I want to play mahjong, somebody invite me to their overnight mahjong session please.

2005-11-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

OMG I kind of just did the most embarassing thing in my whole entire life. Thank god for 75 bucks if not I would have died a terrible death if Juice got wind of it. I was all prepared to transfer/ quit school/ anything! This is so freaking hilarious. SAM, I think I ought to die. Thank god I didn't do anything else to embarass myself further. Hello Grandpa, heart you! Thank you so much for helping me uhh.. clear it out. HAHA.

I can't explain how appalled I am with myself.

So now, I am very puzzled. Who was the CL lookalike that was hanging out with the S Stars?!

GOSH. THIS IS WEIRD.

And oh, I have something else to rant about. I hope F's hair all fall off because I know he is freaking vain. I hope he falls into a drain and breaks a leg or something. FUCK YOU keep your freaking mouth shut and mind your own business. To think that I actually defended you and told people you were NICE when they told me, " HEY I DON'T LIKE F " I hope you trip on your laces when you walk down the staircase and roll down and die or something. If I find out who was the freaking asshole who went around telling F and SSG, you'r going to get it from me I swear.

SSG FREAKING SUCKS. I HATE F AND FE AND JUST ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE. Except for PF of course. And maybe guava, I need to consider.

And I REALLY truly liked ( past tense ) SSG with my heart and thought they were NICE. Talk about a misplacement of trust.

[edit] I have too many random thoughts going through my head today because too many freaking things happened. My life is so bizarre I think I need to live in seclusion for awhile. I'm starting to resent the fact how other people are so interested in things that totally do not concern them. And I am really seriously thankful for all you people who cared and shared and loved. I really wouldn't have lived till this day if it weren't for you all. Two people in school, that I will always love, because you all are the angels from my nightmare. If it weren't for the both of you, I think I would have quit school long ago and made my mark as a delinquent. And maybe I would like to say that those two people would be Yong Zirui and Samantha Lee. Thank you both so much for seeing me through all these shit and somehow, Sam and I can't stop talking to each other haha. We are just so weird. We can talk about L and CL for like 2 hours non-stop and it pretty much revolves around the same topic. We were so into the topic that we kind of neglected Cherry until he butt in and said, " EH you all have so much to talk about is it? " And PF for letting me in on SSG's secrets, finding out stuff and solving everything for me. You'r the bestest support I ever had. Somehow you'r always there when I'm down. Thank you so so so much. And Grandpa, thanks for being the big brother that I never had. I'll listen to you and quit being so adventurous haha. Even though you'r like that yourself! And Vee, I know you haven't been very agreeable on my recent actions and.. choice of friends. But you know you'r the one I trust and listen to the most.

So drained out suddenly.

I think God has been very kind to me. He gave me so many good friends. [/edit]

2005-11-01T21:27:00.000+08:00

Charming and charismatic goes a far longer way than good-looking. I'm officially an S STAR LOVER now. You know I wonder what they teach them at S Star for god's sake why are they all so freaking charming?! C is the best example of how charm overpowers looks by A LOT haha.

I think I kind of stunned Sam and Flor by my outrageous.. yea. We've kind of decided it's really something in S Stars. I've never met such a charming person in my whole entire life. But C is so !!!!!!!!

The only redeeming factor of the party was C. Everything else sucked. I think I shed a lot of fats after yesterday. ( 3 hours of training + 1 night of dancing ) There isn't a single part of my body that isn't aching.

Hooked, by your charm;

2005-10-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

HELLO I am freaking bored to death in the freaking cold computer laboratory what the hell are the chinese people doing cooping themselves up in the freaking hall?! Pardon me but I am so absolutely bored and there's only Junda for company. GOSH. So tempted to act like Stephie: *shudders*

T stands for TRAINING and it's at approximately 1 pm. I think they're trying to bake us or something. WTF LAR running in ECP at bloody 1 pm is so not on my list of things-to-do. I WILL BAKE AND MELT AND DIE. !!!!!! Dear God, please grant some rains and thunderstorms to me.

Hopefully everything goes well and we'll FINALLY have FX outing on Wednesday.

Newsroom later. I have yet to think of my party ensemble for the night. DAMN. Ought to be fun. I hope Grandpa comes and bring me clubhopping for FREE. First day of school come party with me lar!

Okay bye off to PP ( Parkway Parade, the town of the Kampong ) with Stephie to EAT, so that we'll have more energy for T later. Bless us.

2005-10-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

Maybe our group ought to do more, stop slacking, and feel a bit more anxious about PW. It's rather disconcerting that everyone's treating PW like royalty, while we're washing it down with milo with pearls. OH WELL. Junda is my group member, that ought to explain everything.

AND by the way, DARYL NG WEI REN ( yes, noble man, but he's not noble at all he's pretending to be SOON YUYUAN ) you ought to be shot to death you know! I am not a big fat and round fishball you ass and STOP spelling my name that way. YOU SPELL IT LIKE THAT ONE MORE TIME I GIVE YOU DIE I TELL YOU! You better do your chinese tomorrow properly okay because you'r a chinese stop pretending to be a VERY WHITE indian. ( and get E8 for chinese again )

My name is SOON YUYAN.

Okay, lucks for Chinese all you Chinese slogging your hearts out for our Mother Tongue tomorrow morning.

2005-10-30T00:44:00.000+08:00

The korean show is over. I really want to watch it again. He is so fetching sweet. Just like you.

It's so hard to tear yourself away, from people that you were once so attached to. As Bright Light says, some things you don't need until they leave you, and they'r the things that you miss. That is so damn right.

And maybe I wasn't thinking right, when I said we shouldn't be so close anymore.
Missing a number of people that haven't been here for some time. And maybe that includes you.

And you.

And you.

2005-10-29T22:10:00.000+08:00

I found this in my Inbox. This is the reason why he's platinum. (((:

I was thoroughly pissed off initially because 2 very outrageous 9 year old boys came into MY house and attempted to overthrow ME and takeover MY television. These two boys do not even know what the hell is ARS and TOT and they had the audacity to demand for television rights. And the worst thing was my dad was on their side. I HATE BOYS. IT'S THE FINAL EPISODE OF MY CUTEY KOREAN STAR SHOW AND I DELIBERATELY CAME HOME BEFORE 1030 PM TO WATCH IT. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU SUCKERS.

But YAYY PF IS SO NICE! His little picture appeased me. :DDDD And by the way, I really heart that CLASSIC photo you sent me. HEEHEE check out those nice ( hairless and sexy ) legs!

Had such a phenomenal time shopping with Huis and Ru today. It was very fruitful. ( 2 tops + 1 cheerful bikini ) Can't wait for our excursion next week! It's so nice going out with people you really like and you can do things you really want without any restriction. We laugh, we giggle, we gossip, we mock, we share, we discuss, we love. Ru is in love with Carrot Juice.

I realised that the degree of my friendship with people can sort of be measured by the quantity of funny photos sent. This is derived purely from the fact that the funniest and most interesting photos in My Received Files are from Ivy and Zirui. Will post funniest photos from the funniest algae hair girl soon.

2005-10-28T13:17:00.000+08:00

1) These are our FX hands, cutting out FX cake ( slice ), on our FX day.
2) This is our FX cake.
3) This is FX FOREVER, on our..
4) St Nicholas Day of Glory at the National Stadium.

Bird, Vee, Kancheong, do you all still remember what FX = Infinity means?

Please have an FX outing soon.

I'll give anything just to go back and sit in our 4 Unity classroom with the horrible 4 coulours painting that Cheleen Chua forced us to do. I'll purposely eat my peanut butter bread so that Rosalind will catch me. And use my mirror to check my hair so that Hagrid will come and scold us. And write another fantastic essay so that Gigi Wong will say, " Go have a look at Yuyan's essay! " And stand behind Molly during Bio practicals and pull her hair. And eat Dried Mangoes in Mrs Hoo's class. And act like a model student in Physics lesson. And sleep during Brenda's powerpoint slides. I'll continue going to school early in the morning to copy Yupei's homework and eat my smelly peanut butter bread while walking down to the field. And throw all my rubbish behind my chair. And offer tissues to Hongpei when she starts her sneezing trance during flag-raising. And squat in the shady area during family dance.

NOW, all I can do in school is start our HOW-SOON company with little Birdie. FX is not complete with just the fish and the bird. We miss the crocodile and the gorilla.

2005-10-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

The repercussions of running ( sprinting ) in the rain are kicking in:

1) My forehead's so hot I can probably fry an egg on it.
2) Call me Fishball the Red-Nose Reindeer.
3) My lungs hurt from intense coughing.

So, I'm not exactly in the best of moods now. All i need is the doctor and some retarded ass to come and entertain me. I hate the way fever makes you so miserable you just want to crawl into bed under your covers and sleep to death.

My very bad habit is surfacing again. I'm really sorry for the way I like to twist things and imagine it the worst way possible. It's the cynic in me. A cynic refuses to believe that there are good sides to things. It's so hard to curb it because it comes as naturally to me as eating and sleeping.

Somebody come give me a hug soon please. JC people are so deprived of hugs. We used to hug people about 50 times a day. HELLO hugs GOODBYE hugs HAPPY hugs SAD hugs RANDOM hugs RECESS hugs AFTER SCHOOL hugs. St Nics is full of love as you can see. OH Chia Ruyu has the best hugs in the world. And it's been proven that hugs improve your mood and make you happy.

Threading is so freaking painful. But its okay. I'm brave. With sexy arched brows.

I'm so happy everything's alright. (: At least I hope it is. And I'm going to pray with all my life it stays that way.

2005-10-25T22:26:00.000+08:00

Can't remember who is this and who sent me this. ( another random photo in my folders ) Pretty impressive move though. I have a feeling it's Sam's favourite S Star.

The dread of taking 966 weighs me down. I wish I could run away forever.

So miserable.

I really detest faking and pretending and avoiding and pretty much everything else that's going on once I step into the East.

2005-10-24T22:45:00.000+08:00

Tell me why I miss that are-you-me boy.

On such a random monday, there are 81 people online.

I found this among many weird and random pictures in My Received Files. VS boys are so weird. What's that orange thing that they'r looking at so intently. Spot my very KK PF.

maybe I'm a girl who's in the middle of something, that she doesn't really understand;

2005-10-23T22:45:00.000+08:00

Thanks for making me happy.

Oh my god I've been waiting for this day for too damn long. I am so delirious/ elated/ happy/ overjoyed/ relieved/ thankful/ ( check the thesaurus for more ) FINALLY, after so damn freaking long, we can talk like.. friends. I am so happy I can't describe how happy I am. I am truly truly happy I can finally put down the past and leave it all behind. And actually I secretly think both of you look good together and I'm happy that you look so happy with her. And it feels so damn good. To know that we can finally talk like friends and I can finally stop listening to The Reason on repeat mode. It feels so so so soo damn good. This is a day, long awaited, and long overdue. But it's here, and that's all that matters. (:

Now, if only that can apply to somebody else, I'll be even happier.

But for now, let me relish in my happiness. (:

FEEL MY ELATION! :DDDD

2005-10-22T21:35:00.000+08:00

Hello my new hobby is.. bullying PFW. Haha I wonder why I derive so much joy from doing that.

Parents came over for university talk today, which was a total bore but it was a 3 hours well spent gossiping with Mrs Dex Lee. ( HEEHEE ) Everyone was kind of mesmerised by my charming and handsome daddy, especially PF who can't seem to stop saying that my dad is suave and handsome. And then.. it was totally time for S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G!

Two little girls were too happy today, scavaging town for my perfect bag and we finally found it after a few long hours of hard work! Happiness was beyond belief and we just sat at Coffee Club reliving our humble and fruitful day. We were totally mesmerised by the cute little musical thing that plays Someday My Prince Will Come and it was spinster mood in full swing. It is so fetching sweet I just stood there and played it for about 37284723489732894739 times. But OH we are so happy and we love KTV. Steph madly does anyway.

Okay, happy happy, time for a platinum chat with my platinum friend! I have only an hour to spare I need to be on time for my cutesy korean star show on my favouritest channel.

2005-10-22T00:42:00.000+08:00

The wedding didn't turn out too bad after all! Thanks to my 3 tall, macho and handsome cousins. They were being cheap entertainment and entertaining the kids by pretending to be gays. ( by putting flowers and corsages into their hair ) We took hell lotsa photos but I have no idea where all of them are haha so I guess I'll probably never see the photos ever again. I have no idea since when did my cousins transform from skinny and yucks to tall and macho. Not complaining though heehee.

The groom was drunk by the end of everything and he started blabbering. It was quite a funny and touching scene but you'll have to be there to understand it. Everyone kind of started tearing while I was.. laughing at the side. And someone told me AGAIN that I was so cynical. Which is so oh my god I KNOW IT LAR. This must be the 374892378947238947 th time people have told me ever since the first person Mark Tay the Yucks told me I was damn fucking cynical because I told him Flor and Bryan Pang the Violent is so not going to last. That 3 hours spent sitting outside Somerset is still fresh in my mind excuse me.

PF I'll call tomorrow don't worry haha hope you had a nice date with PFW. Blahh you'r the person I'll miss the most when everyone goes into the army you know. Okay that was so random but just now they were all discussing about who's going into the army and discussing how life changes and I was just thinking of all the people I'll miss when all you horrible boys shave.

Sorry, being a little on the emo side after the groom's touching speech. Weddings so make you feel like getting married. Brides are all so pretty.

I am such a freaking coward. Until now I still can't get my contacts in by myself. The funny thing is I can get it out perfectly fine on my own though. And they say it's harder to get it out then put it in. DAMN I just have to be so weird.

2005-10-21T11:56:00.000+08:00

I would like to congratulate myself, for my second day of freedom and liberation. Everyone's at my uncle's house for my cousin's wedding. I opted for sleep. Tea ceremonies seriously bore me, I don't see the fun of standing in a corner, watching them serve tea right from my grandpa down to the last uncle. I have a very big clan in case you didn't know. I think it'd take 5 pots of tea and 4 hours before they'd finish drinking tea. I'd have been hidden upstairs camping out on my cousin's bed.

I am such a cynic. Really.

And so it's the wedding dinner at night. That I can't skip. It's going to be so boring I hate family gatherings on my dad's side I have nobody to talk to except for my sister and all they ever do is comment on your weight, studies and garble out family gossips for the past decade. The only plus point is that I can act as glamorous as I want and nobody would say that I'm over-dressed. Thumbs up for that. But I'm still going to be bored off my pants. If you love me like me pity me hate me anything me, please call or sms or anything! From the time of 7 pm to 12 midnight. I'll be eternally grateful I'll even marry you. Yes, this is an advert. I'm desperate for entertainment. I thrive on it, and wilt without.

I'm not sure why I still care, even when you try so hard to leave me out and block me out time and time again. Maybe if you could just tell me why you're doing all these, I'd leave on my own accord and let you have what you want. Perhaps without me, everyone would be so much happier and life in school would probably be a whole lot better then.

Somewhere along the line I've taken the path to being a coward and chose to run away. It's the only thing that's working, out of all the hare-brained ideas that I thought would worked, but needless to say, which have all failed.

Off for a soul-seeking swim alone with the all out aim of attempting to look better before tonight and find some solutions and answers to the burning issues on hand.

2005-10-20T22:11:00.000+08:00

I swear I intended to go school today I even told Sam yesterday that I'll go after chinese. BUT at 815 when my alarm rang, I felt too weary to even drag myself to school, much less attend lessons and face all the animosity of the civil war. BUT I had the full intention of going at 4 for training. I told Steph I'd go when she called. BUT at 3 she kind of msged me and told me training's at 330 and it was already too late for me to go anyway. So I ended up watching mindless cartoons ( Channel 35 ), Ah Feng Kung Fu show ( Channel 55 ), Liverpool against Bolton Repeat ( Channel 23 ) etc with my little sister. All in all, we watched about 10 hours of TV today. And ate just about everything we could lay our hands on at home. She is so cute she made me her specialty dish ( according to her ) : frozen grape yakult served in a jelly cup. I guess the makings of a great chef ( like me ) runs in the family.

While watching 10 hours of crazy tv today, I caught the Holidays On Ice Hollywood ( HOIH ) adverts! I've been wanting to go to some On Ice thing ever since Disney On Ice. ( which I didn't go in the end cos Yong Zirui didn't want to go with me ) HOIH looks much nicer though, they have Moulin Rouge, Titanic and all the Hollywood what nots. Somebody go with me please I really really want to go.

Which reminds me,

RU hurry up find a day next week we're supposed to go eat Ikea meatballs!

Huis and Mok! I'm supposed to bring you all to the secret land for secret buys!

And DAGGERS, I realised we have this weird routine of meeting very frequently for a period of time and suddenly MIA for another period of time. Time for the meet very frequently period already okay.

I'm quite sad I have a feeling SSG's not going Bangkok anymore. DAMN. What's that FE doing.

2005-10-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

take a look inside;

I guess the long march has inevitably begun. Sometimes my intuition is so accurate it really scares me. Mao Ze Dong took one long year to end it. When will ours end?

Caught Goal! It was really good, like one of the best movies I've watched this year. Good movies are so rare these days. I kind of got over-excited ahd squealed too loudly when Beckham appeared though. The movie's so good if you'r a fan of EPL. All the big shots were in there. And it was kind of inspirational and the moves were slick and good. We had fun spotting people like Lampard, Biscan, Baros, Eriksson etc.

I was momentarily happy after watching the movie, before reality set in and my mood was killed.

I wish it didn't bother me so much. I'm trying so hard not to care and it's so pathetic that nothing's working.

2005-10-18T22:43:00.000+08:00

I almost died of stress and heart attack just now, attempting to rush out the written report. Potter so gets on my nerves I just feel like murdering him and cutting him up into 237489372498372 pieces.

Thank god Daryl was here. DARYL, you'r an angel! Thanks for making pie charts ( who is the most charming person on earth= daryl 77% ) and everything for me. I would have died without you I'm really the most untech-savvy person that I've ever met. ( Sam, stop sniggering. I know what's WINRAR now I bet you don't ) And please don't be an ass, I know you secretly enjoy spelling my name wrongly and annoying me haha.

I reckon if you don't know what's going on or if you don't understand, you should just keep your comments to yourself because they are really quite hurting. Even if you don't agree with the way we think or the way we do things. If you think we really don't know what you'r trying to say, then just forget it, I don't even want to start. It has always been like this anyway. Oh yes we're tyrants and we're always in the wrong.

I feel like we're constantly fighting a civil war everyday. Like the KMT and CCP. Sooner or later, there's going to be a long march and we'll just all perish together. I love the last line from Guns N Roses Civil War you know:

What's so civil about a war anyway?

2005-10-17T23:28:00.000+08:00

It was one hell of a day in school, to call it Dooms Day would be more appropriate. Everyone was on the brink of depression and some just sank right into it. Somehow, D-E-A-D sounds nice now.

Still, I'm feeling generally happy right now because training was exceptionally good and I feel so loved by everyone. I think I'm a very mood-conscious person. When I'm in a good mood, everything goes just fine. Carol and I ran 4.8 like lightning today, we were so delirious! Gym circuits weren't too bad too, all our muscles are returning! Soon, we'll be able to challenge Wenyi, our HwaChung acquaintance who can do 9 pullups. Macho girl she is.

It's so lovely when everyone loves you.

Bird, Steph, Rach and I had a treat at Soup Spoon and we went crazy pretending we were going to take part in the Olympics ( going for LAWN BOWLING ) but I pointed out to Bird that they probably have a minimum age requirement of 60 for that. In case you didn't know, lawn bowling is a sport loved by the senior citizens. And that woman just had to appear at THAT moment with the Beijing 2008 bag.

Vee gave me a slippers keychain to hang on my phone. OH I JUST LOVE IT! It's so lovely and cute! <3 you to the max! I'll dangle it from my pocket tomorrow and show it off to everyone!

Grandpa 75 bucks is the sweetest thing on earth. I'll get all my As and wait for your truly goody treat! Maybe you could just throw a birthday bash for me at like Newsroom or something and rig the lucky draw so I can win everything HAHAHA. THEN, I'll award you with the Grandpa of the Year award.

My hands are still trembling from gym.

OH and I absolutely HAVE to mention this weird phenomenon. Sam and I got EVERYTHING, practically everything the same. D-D-E and C5 is what we have. Ting says people who hang out together get the same grades. Somehow, that's quite true. Our marks are within a difference of 3 marks or something. It's so weird lar but it's okay <3 you! Don't be too depressed already okay! Although your annoying right to the ass friend, KAREN bugs you. She bugs me too you know, cos she bugs you that's why she bugs me. HAHAHA. It's a riddle. Look at Question 6 of comprehension! WE'RE ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE WITH IMMENSE DEPTH IN THEIR ENGLISH WHO GOT IT CORRECT! :D

Oh, patching up with people makes me very happy. (:

Giving chocolates make me happy too. (:

( Sam, I'm not a cynic today, I'm filled with lots of love for the world. Look at the amount of smileys, I can rival RA already heehee :) )

2005-10-16T21:58:00.000+08:00

HELLO you all, I'll survive. So, don't worry.

Things are looking better. (:

Vee, your hair will grow with lightning speed it'll be long again like TOMORROW. Mchandsome will still love you. HEEHEE.

PF, my tender heart is still going strong. All thanks to you.

Sam, maybe you could be kirsten ( is that her name? ) and I could be lacy. Or maybe I should just be your boyfriend Brian. HAHA. And you could end your spinsterhood!

Bird, Steph, Rach, thanks for waiting yesterday. Mr Crumpler Bag is mine by the way. HAHA we'll go on that expedition trip and have the time of our lives.

Jon, thanks for listening and helping. Things will turn out just fine for you too.

The rest of the people who asked me if I were alright, THANKS LOTS!

And most importantly. Xiaohong, we've both said this a million times but I'll still say it again, sorry. I'll give you a hug tomorrow (: <333

For Sam's sake, I'll quit being cynical. And treat the world with love. Praise the Lord. ( Sam says I should say this )

how many special people change;

2005-10-15T22:17:00.000+08:00

I haven't been so sad since the day he left.

Somehow everything I wanted to say came out the wrong way, and it just sounded totally wrong and obviously it didn't come through at all.

I'm so tired.

Somewhere along the way I've kind of forgotten how it feels like to be happy.

Maybe it's time to learn, the way people do things here. Pretend and forget.

Because very obviously, the principles that I've been living by doesn't work anymore. Somehow, you just can't be honest.

I recently just found out how deprived my tear glands were in the past. They're letting everything go now.

I'm very worried for myself. I don't want to live on iron pills again just to get through the day. Somebody please make me eat.

when all your love is gone, who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world;

2005-10-14T17:16:00.000+08:00

Today was the last straw. The fucking last straw.

Dearest dearest PF, I really can't tell you how much I <3 you. ( friendship love ) You're the bestest PF ever you know. I was controlling and pretending and suffocating for the whole morning, putting on a fucking brave front in front of everyone else. But the moment I saw you and the concerned look on your face I just couldn't take it anymore. I really didn't mean to break down and cry.( walau eh at the loft somemore all the soccer boys saw I have no more face left ) Thank you so so so much for being there. LOVE YOU! And the way you always know when I'm sad. You're completely forgiven for going away on my birthday. Buy me a nice present okay!

And I have nothing else to say, except that,

I am so thoroughly disappointed in you.

You fucking sliced my heart open today.

But I will not allow myself to allow you to do that ever again.

2005-10-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

I'm being stupid again, I know. Just let me be stupid for one last day.

I don't know why you don't want to talk to me. I really want to talk to you.

2005-10-13T22:32:00.000+08:00

Pardon me for being emo. Right now I feel like I'm going through an emo rollercoaster, a never ending one.

I'm very rash, I don't take time to go through things in my head. Today was a fucking bad day. Thank you Bird, for talking to me. Thank you Steph, for waiting for so long with me. Thank you Jon, for playing 3 dollars soccer with me when I was stranded alone in the canteen.

There's something in that sushi place, that just make us go to pieces. I can't describe how regretful I am, for all the stupid things I've done. For not cherishing you when you were here, for taking you for granted, for acting like an asshole and pushing you to her. Somehow, Steph made me realise today, in FULL impact, what I've really lost, by letting you go. I should have fought for you, I should have told you everything, I should have just told you you'r the only one I really care about and don't go back to her.

You make me want to kiss the roses for being so red. You make me want to dance with you through the night. You make me want to walk with you down that road and just go on and on and never stop. You make me want to do stupid things and shout to the world that I'm the happiest girl on earth. You make me wanna hold you till the morning light.

Steph says it's a fairytale, because it's too good to be true. I really think I'm incapable of truly liking somebody else. It sounds ludicrous, I know. Exaggerated, I know. But you don't have to understand, cos that's what I feel.

I thought I was long over it, I really thought so. But today, while we were eating sushi in that damned place again, Steph made me realise that I'll never be able to do so. I feel like writing a ten-page letter, telling you about everything, right from the start, from the dance. But it's really pointless you know, it's just pointless and I know it. I'm so so so so sorry for not cherishing you and appreciating everything you'v done for me. You've done so so so much, I don't think I'll ever find somebody else like you. It's true.

No matter how much I tell other people, they'll never know the full extent of all that you'v done. Of the every little thing that you did, to make me happy, to cheer me up, to be there for me. But now all I can do is sit in that little sushi booth, and wallow in misery with Steph, on how I am the biggest idiot on earth.

After so long, you'r just a part of me I can't let go. I really miss you you know. I miss you more than anything in this world. I want to tell you everything, right from how I really heart you.

I wrote a letter to you today. I was waiting for Steph and I couldn't take it anymore. I'm so tired of the emotional battles. I have many things that I want to say, but I know you won't agree with some of them. I just want to get everything out, I hope you'll at least let me say it. I wrote that letter straight from my heart. If things doesn't get better, there's nothing else I can do. At least I really tried. I did so many things I don't want to, there's really no room in me for more regrets.

BABY CAN I HOLD YOU TONIGHT says:
haha you know,
BABY CAN I HOLD YOU TONIGHT says:
sometimes i admire the way you can thrash things out with people
BABY CAN I HOLD YOU TONIGHT says:
i cant

You learn, this ability of mine, was harnessed from many past experiences. From Wu Juan up to G, I've fallen out with too many people. It's time I learnt, to thrash things out. If I had opened my damned mouth to talk things out properly with you, things would have been so different.

Why is it so hard for us to talk I really can't take it anymore. I really hate the way it drags on and on. Ever since tuesday I've been trying to talk to you about it and something always crops up. I'm so sick and tired of it.

Tomorrow, I will forget and move on. This is the last time I'll ever be writing about you. I swear to myself, it's the last. But for today, just let me listen to The Reason again, for the last time, the real last time.

2005-10-13T15:41:00.000+08:00

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH I TELL YOU. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT. I'M GOING TO HUNT YOU OUT AND THRASH EVERYTHING OUT I TELL YOU. I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME OR NOT. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. ANOTHER DAY OF ANIMOSITY AND I'LL JUST BRING ROTTEN EGGS TO SCHOOL TO PELT YOU I TELL YOU. I CREATED THIS MESS AND I'M DETERMINED TO END IT BY TODAY.

AND YOU BLOODY HELL KNOW WHO YOU ARE .

2005-10-12T22:40:00.000+08:00

Something tells me, that something is going to go wrong. Intuition, women live by that.

You know, I really hate it when you get into the mood to do something and you'r prevented from doing it. It really irks me you know, patience isn't really one of my virtues. Right now, I'm in the mood for a long talk and I can't do that if the person I want to talk to is MIA.

I'm giving you another 20 minutes.

In life, there are many rules you have to live by and obey. And you have to be prepared to face the consequences when you break them. No one ever said life was easy.

You live from day to day and you feel that life is pointless. I really see no point in going to school. The meaning of school has taken on a different perspective. It was once our second home. Now I just view it as place that you HAVE to go because there is no choice. Somebody thank god we only have to slog it out for another year.

I really don't understand why people now can't treat each other with sincerity and their upmost honesty. Everybody is just so fake you can practically hear the sound of plastic rubbing on to you. And that includes me, myself. It's useless to open your heart out and treat anyone with honesty because all you get in the end is their cruel hypocricy. And so you learn, and you slowly learn, to be just like them.

I still remember how we sat at the bench for 3 hours. When you tried to talk your way out and make things better and I just sat there without uttering a single word for 3 hours. I should have told you then, the whole truth. Things might have been different now. That was really the first time I felt as if it was then end of the world.

And I still remember how I wanted to run away at the train station when we were already in there, waiting to board the train, because I just couldn't stand our proximity. Florence was livid and she scolded me. I bet you didn't know that I secretly teared and actually what I wanted to do was cry out loud. But thank you so much for scolding me. We wouldn't have spent 4 of the most amazing days with them then.

And I also remember the day when we were under so much pressure we started crying and crying at Macritchie and pouring our heart out.

It's these displays of raw emotions, that makes you feel that:

There is still hope and love after all.

2005-10-11T23:05:00.000+08:00

Wth I really hate it when people do this, because they always hit a raw nerve and it ALWAYS god damn it works. DAMN. It's the one and only foolproof way and less than 5 people in the world know how to use it against me. That includes my dad, my mum and Ivy Pan. It is imperative that The Way is kept a secret because if not, everyone will know my ultimate weakness. That is simply terrible. People who know my weaknesses are horrible! But I like them haha. I don't expose my weaknesses to people. In fact, I guard them with my heart and soul. That's why I have high admiration for people who discover about them on their own. I think it shows that they truly care.

But then, things will never be the same again. It never ever does.

baby can i hold you tonight says:
somehow we ...
baby can i hold you tonight says:
are people who find it difficult
baby can i hold you tonight says:
to forget completely and pretend that nothing's ever happened
baby can i hold you tonight says:
it's damn hard lah
baby can i hold you tonight says:
and we're just not good enough

Still, I believe in thrashing things out. It's hard to make others believe in what you believe in and how you handle things. Everyone has their own morals to live by. I really can't help it if others think that our morals are eccentric, because that's just the way we are, and that's the way we were taught. Oh well, at least I'm thrashing things out. Once upon a time, even last year, I would have ran way, because St Nics girls' egos are too big for their own good. And believe it or not, we're proud of it. (:

Anyway, I am very secretly happy because I secretly think we'll go on that trip after all. I really cannot wait. :DDDDD

Eh I'll be really disappointed if we don't go in the end you know. LIKE REALLY REALLY REALLY. ( this is a hint to Flor and PF, you all should know what to do )

2005-10-11T00:10:00.000+08:00

After a while you learn
the subtle difference
between
holding a hand
and chaining a soul
and you learn
that love doesn't mean leaning
and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn
that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises
and you begin to accept your defeats
with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child
and you learnto build all your roads on today
because tomorrow's ground
too uncertain for plans
and futures have a way of fallin down
in mid-fight.
After a while you learn
that even sunshine burns
if you get too much
so you plant your own garden
and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone
to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure
you really are strong
you really do have worth
and you learn
and you learn
with every goodbye, you learn...

Presenting to you,
My favouritest poem.

[edit] PF, be alright okay. I'm quite worried. [/edit]

2005-10-10T22:41:00.000+08:00

Honesty is the best policy. If you have issues with me, please thrash it out with me okay? I don't like to leave things hanging, I'd rather thrash it all out and get it clear.

I don't like changes. I don't like things to turn sour. I want it to be the way it was forever. When we were all at our happiest.

SSG's gang leader just invited me on their trip. I. Really. Don't. Know. If. I. Want. To. Go. G's going. PFPFPFPFPFPF, discuss soon. And. I was supposed to go for Vee's one. DAMNNNNNNN. Flor, discuss soon too. Because. I. kindofwanttogo. HAHA damn I am so forbidden with a big fat capital F.

I know it's wrong to go. Yet I know I want to go. And I also know it won't make any difference to anything.

Why is that little piece of me inside still waiting?

my love is vengeance, that's never free;

2005-10-09T17:35:00.000+08:00

Caught 5 hours of TV, just. 2 hours of boxing show and 3 hours of korean show. Damn, I really like the korean show, the korean star is so tall and macho and cute. And I secretly think he looks like G when he smiles. They have the same smile you know, those that you can't see the eyes. But it's been a very long time since I saw that smile.

Indochine was okay, music sucked quite a bit, met lots of people but crowd wasn't very good. They waited damn long to get the dance floor started and there was damn alot of groping and grinding and so many people got so wasted. People like G******** really turns me off. Tequila shots make you really high and I kind of like the flying-in-the-air sensation but the after effects suck, though it wore out after awhile. Had fun sleeping over at Flor's. I realised people who sleep with me all like to snuggle up to me, I guess I'm just very snuggable after all. But I liked sleeping with Huis. (: We all got woke up at 8 am by the cold, and Chengs and PY's noises ( wth were you all doing!? ) Huis really shocked me with her sudden leap of improvement in liquor containment. She shot down that tequila with me and drank so many cups. Once upon a time, she couldn't even finish half a bottle of 5% vodka. By the way, I like strawberry rum. Oh wellsssss, I hope Taboo would be better.

Dear Zirui, it's aplomB and it means great self-confidence. I have no idea what you mean and I am not a party animal you ass. Talk to me soon okay! Go to a party soon leh stop being so kk I want to dance with you again.

By the way, I'm still waiting for my SA to appear ( where are you!! ) I really kind of miss having somebody to fuss around and somebody to fuss me around. Appear soon okay!

2005-10-07T23:39:00.000+08:00

Happiness = shopping = good buys = meeting lots of people = nice boys = end of exams = life is so beautiful!

If only I could add in RICHHHHHH with lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$, it would be perfect.

But life is full of imperfections. And that's what makes it beautiful.

It's 8 Oct tomorrow and it's a busy busy day.

Dancing in the moonlight makes us happy, it's the song to sing after your love proposes to you HAHA.

Time to catch up with uncaughtup friendssssss!

Time to kick back, relax, and dance in the moonlight. ((:

2005-10-06T22:21:00.000+08:00

Maths and Chem were both disasters, at least they'r gone and we can put it behind. 12 more hours to salvation! Exams are so suffocating, they'r detrimental to both your physical and emotional well-being. Tomorrow, it's full swing retail therapy! :DDDDD

Daryl is the funniest boy on Earth I swear. He sprained his ankle while jogging and took a cab back and found out that he couldn't walk properly anymore. I just want to laugh at you only.

Might be going on Bangkok trip with Vee! YAYNESS you know haha but we need more macho boys to protect us, like MAN MAN aka XIAO MAN. ( WINKSSSSSSSSSSZXZXZXZ AT MRS MANTOU )

2005-10-05T22:47:00.000+08:00

DAMN, we can't carry out our secret plan anymore. RAHHHH so disappointing. ):

Have they ever considered the size of the human brain? And realised it's impossible to squeeze everything in one night?! I can't draph graphs, I can't do vectors, I can't memorise the integrals. Why like that! I was once the Maths Peanut that everyone looked up to ( haha ), now I'm just a nobody. I want to get 90/100 for Maths again!!! David would be so disappointed to see the state my maths is in now. Daisy's too ashamed to face you lar we can't be the Maths Peanuts of 4 Unity anymore. )))))))):

The animosity is seriously killing me. Why can't we just live happily like we used to?

You bold things that are important.

Mel flew off again. Miss you Cherry.

2005-10-04T22:13:00.000+08:00

2 down, 3 more to go, it's flying pass, liberation will arrive soon.

Chemistry is the worst subject ever invented. I didn't realise how limited my chem knowledge was until Daryl pointed out to me that a bent shape is 105 degrees. And besides that, I've learnt today that the fraction of molecules decreases when temperature increases. AND that PV/V graph is always a horizontal straight line. And some other random facts. The highest score I hit for MCQs is 11/20, at least it's a pass. I'd be happy if I just had a D for Chem and they'd allow me to take Physics S. I can't stand to think how disappointed Gary Chan would be if we didn't take Physics S.

" You all must take Physics S paper okay! I already have all the answers for VJ S paper, written out neatly, you don't even have to go for lectures! " -the ever so weird and kk GC

I can't wait for our secret plan on Thursday! (: To display our loyalty once more.

Hey you! Don't drink so much Redbull, too much of it killsss.

I don't feel the need to care about people who don't even give a damn. And I can't emphasize how much I dislike people who cross lines they know they're not supposed to. I'd welcome a truce, but don't expect me to take the initiation. And YOU, you know I'm talking about you.

I hate bugs and animals. They make my hair stand at 90 degress to the horizontal. A beetle just dropped right in front of me.

To right, the unrightable wrong;

2005-10-02T22:06:00.000+08:00

When a friendship comes to a standstill, you always feel sad. But then, those are just seasonal friends, friends that you're damn close to for only a period of time. ( eg. 5 months ) These friends usually die out due to misunderstandings/ quarrels/ simply lack of effort to maintain it. It's really no use pondering over these seasonal relationships because it will never be better than friendships that offer you a lifetime of happiness.

Happiness is laughing your head off and rolling on to the floor over a stupid joke. People like Beatrice Mok never fail to make your day. She is so ridiculously funny she can even make you laugh over a piece of tissue paper. :D We love studying with geniuses, they answer all sorts of questions under the sun. And HoneystickBoys who buy me yoghurt too. HEEE.

I just love bitching with Grandpa 75 bucks. Bitchiest male on Planet Earth. We share a love for hot and pretty girls, unlike people in the East who think that plain and normal girls are hot. Grandpa reckons they have serious eyesight problems and they ought to get their eyes checked.

It's kind of a relief that papers are starting tomorrow. At least you know it'll be over very soon. And then, all the fun begins! :DDD

2005-10-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

All I want to say is I love Bird and Sam. Sometimes, all you really need is just somebody else who understands.

Bird, we'll pull it through and not give in to senseless people who don't have a backbone.

It's okay, if you decide to just go away;

2005-09-30T22:48:00.000+08:00

Enjoyable day spent mugging with my bestie. Discovered new extensive links of friendship between unimagined people. I've decided not to dwell too much on tiresome issues. Since Bird and I have long recognised the fact that we are just not on the same wavelength with people who are obsessively nice, there's no point fretting over it and all the more voicing out your frustrations. Simply because nobody will believe you anyway, obsessively nice people are angels, people like us are what? Demons naturally. But I really can't stand people who don't know what it's really like and insist on what they see on the surface and what they believe is true.

I've been trying to do my part and make up for something, anything at all. It doesn't help if there aren't any effort reciprocated. I don't want you to be just a seasonal friend, but if you really want it that way, there's nothing I can do. I truly appreciate the fact that nice boys are endangered, not to the point of extinction though. Just endangered.

Okay, I love Mrs Mantou, who just shifted from her mansion in Telok Kurau to their humble abode in Sinmin. We hate people who wear identical OP shirts and attempt to start a fire by burning their maths homework haha. Just recalling our ridiculous and embarrassing past. Oh but she committed a sin by forgetting my birthday today. WTF and TAN YUPEI I can't believe you happily insisted it was DEC 9 HELLO MY BIRTHDAY OR YOUR BIRTHDAY! Go home and check your history textbooks please! Brenda Tan would be so appalled by all your apparent lack of History knowledge. My birthday was on the day that Pearl Harbour was bombed by the way. I highlighted it in my history text. It's PF's birthday flipped over too. Anyone who dares to go overseas on my birthday, just sit there and see what I'll do to you. ( at this moment, insert a pointed glare at Florence Lim. FYI, she has been overseas on the most crucial day for the past 3 years and she has always promised to get me a nice present BUT have yet to do so. You know you ought to die. )

2005-09-30T08:42:00.000+08:00

I still feel as terrible. I really want things to return to the way it was. Don't know how it turned out like that though. My fault, really. I find it easier to blame everything on myself. I want to talk to Bird, she understands and we like to play black and white chess.

I think you just couldn't stand it anymore;

and so you decided to turn your back away;

just like the rest;

2005-09-29T20:52:00.000+08:00

Recently, I've been doing things that I truly don't mean to do at all. Treating people the way they shouldn't be treated, saying things that aren't meant to be said. I can't seem to control myself and I'm really afraid one day they'll all just go away like I asked them to. I'm so queer sometimes I feel so unnerved by myself. Went on a soul vacation in my heartland Woodlands and went things through my head. I ought to stop being like that and stop taking things for granted like how I always do and end up in a mess.

I think it's high time I changed.

Sometimes I don't say what I really want to say and instead, everything that comes out of my mouth is the direct opposite. haha I think I'm becoming more and more introverted. If only all of you could have a look at my little soulful heart and see what it really says inside.

To the people that I really owe an apology to, you don't know who you are, but I know who you are, I'm sorry. This comes from the bottom of my heart and I hope you receive the heartfelt sincerity from me.

Keep some love in your hearts;

2005-09-29T03:31:00.000+08:00

HELLO it's 3:31 am we're at the airport we're mad little kids pretending to be hardworking. I'm so tired I can hardly open my eyes 1 paper down 4 more to go it's never ending ( !!! ) I hate promos why do we have to study anyway it's a waste of time. All I want is to sleep and sleep and never wake up and I'm addicted to Just Want You To Know. Okay, bye kids, off to neverland the airport is so cold and deserted at this unearthly hour what the hell are we doing here!

I'm a crazy girl with messy hair.

I don't need external forces to drive me mad.

Many many many many many thanks for saving me yesterday PF, don't know what I'll do without you lar.

2005-09-27T22:58:00.000+08:00

I HATE IT WHEN THEY DO THIS. STOP STEALING THINGS AWAY FROM ME I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT OKAY.

I LIKE BOYS WHO BUY ME HONEY STICKS PLEASE.

FUCK LAR I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY I WAS SO FUCKING STUPID I DIDN'T BRING MY CHEM SKILL A NOTES OUT TO STUDY AND WAITED FOR STEPH CHEONG TO BRING ME THE NOTES AND SHE SUDDENLY SAID SHE WASN'T COMING AND NOW I'M NEEDED TO BE THE MIDDLEMAN WHAT THE FUCK THE REST OF THE WORLD STOP COMING TO PISS ME OFF I'M JUST GOING TO BITE YOUR HEAD OFF UNTIL THERE'S NOTHING LEFT CAN YOU BE SMARTER AND JUST GO AWAY AND STOP ASKING ME RIDICULOUS THINGS AND SINCE ALL OF YOU LIKE TO STUDY TOGETHER SO MUCH JUST FUCKING GO STUDY TOGETHER OKAY I DON'T FUCKING GIVE A DAMN IF YOU THINK I'M CRAZY OR UNREASONABLE I HAVEN'T EVEN STUDIED FOR GP AND SKILL A JUST FUCK OFF

I really need somebody to calm me down.

2005-09-26T23:00:00.000+08:00

I am seriously so fetching difficult sometimes.

I moodswing when life sucks.

I moodswing when I'm sad.

The worst is I moodswing when I'm bored.

HAHA I am such an ass you know I remember I used to do that all the time and Flor would get so pissed and irritated cos I was such a pain in the ass to be with when I'm moodswinging so she would come up with stupid CORNY ( WHY YOU EAT SO MUCH CORNS ) jokes and KNOCK KNOCK jokes to entertain me. I miss your knock knock jokes lehhhhhh. ):

Now I understand why my humble boy must be adventurous and brave. I love humble boys who do out of this world stupid things to entertain me like:

1. going with me to Sentosa on a random monday to feed peacocks with indian tourists/
2. pretending I'm a sprinter too and making me dash from city hall to suntec in 2 mins/
3. stuffing 3 layers of prata into his mouth ( okay that's sadistic )/
4. having pillow and tickle fights/
5. playing obstacle course with me at the playground/
6. betting on whether 86 will come in approximately 59 seconds' time and the loser has to stuff 3 layers of prata into his mouth

and OH he must be really sweet too like:

1. scraping all the chilli off the stingray for me/
2. giving me all the fishballs and eating away all the yucky kway teow/
3. buying me famous amos
4. treating me kuay chap and almond jelly when spain/ england/ one of them wins
5. eating up all my leftovers HAHA

I just realised all the above are associated with food it's a miracle I didn't gain weight last time and ironic that I'm gaining all of it now. Sam says it's okay to be in the guava mood once in awhile and you have to listen to Backstreet Boys- I Just Want You To Know while you'r at that.
The kayak song- Gloria Estefan- Reach makes me really really sad I love all of you kayakers. Today was such a suckass day I kind of started moodswinging cos I was bored I wish the owner of SQ1027 would come entertain me once more. Blahhh this mood sucks I wanna go shopping and buy lots of FCUK stuff cos the shopping bag is just so fetched. Can't wait for 8 oct to dance the night away. I folded 3 SQs today.

SPA was such a hectic affair I almost died of kancheongness before that under the influence of Bird and after that under the influence of PF. It went okay for me but bad for others but oh well there's nothing we can do about it. PF you'r so adorably kukuly stupidly cute sometimes I feel like whacking you with your long ruler.

I just want you to know
That I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe
That there's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know

2005-09-25T23:20:00.000+08:00

New heels is the sex!

That was my highlight of the day. Bought new heels! Went amok at Macs with Stephie after tuition, we were doing ridiculous things like counting people's love index and Terence got quite depressed by his results ( 19% ). At least PF's one was good ( 77% ). I secretly think that that love calculation method is quite accurate ( to Stephie: HAHAHAHA 88% !!!!! :DDDDD) Met Daryl and co there! I realised that I quite miss them actually. We used to have so much fun studying together and OMG Baldwin is suddenly too skinny for words I really think he's anorexic but he ate an ice-cream cone so technically he's not but oh well, I hope he takes my advice and EAT MORE. And PF you kuku ass you better hurry up study for physics spa now. If you'd believe it, up till 1045 PM that ass was still stupidly studying for CHEM Skill A, happily thinking that it was chem tomorrow instead of physics. Thank god I called you please.

2005-09-24T23:55:00.000+08:00

These two days have been the spots of bright lights of my miserable week in school. Both start with D.

D is for DAGGERS, and D is for DOUGHNUT

I almost died of happiness today when Doughnut came over to talk to me! HAHA doughnut is just so adorably cute the sight of his irresistible dimples just melt my heart he's the cutest boy on Earth! According to Steph's mag, I like adventurous and brave boys and according to Xiaohong, Doughnut is adventurous and brave! Not to mention tanned and macho and humble and cute. The only hitch is that my ******* is supposed to appear on the 8th, but most unfortunately, Doughnut is still having exams on the 8th ( !!! ). But it's okay, I'll postpone the meet-my-******* date for the sake of Doughnut.

DAGGERS meeting makes me happy I'm sorry for pissing Pey yann off oh well I made up for it by writing WE <3 color="#006600">October is an exhilarating month. After the 7th that is. Can't wait.

2005-09-21T21:29:00.000+08:00

I'm being such a bitch these days even I feel like slapping myself. My mood is oscillating with increasing frequency and amplitude it's going to swing out of control soon. I blame it on, VJ. I feel so morbid the moment I step into the building. And by the way, I really hate people who pretend to be nice to somebody when in actual fact they'r reeling with dislike for them. Vee says only St Nics girls are so straightforward as to show our displeasure. Well, I think you'r plain fake.

I reckon I ought to come up with a handbook on, How To Handle Soon Yuyan's Moodswings, and dispatch it to every household. ( like the anti-Voldemort handbook ) Over the years, I've observed two general types of reactions people give when they encounter my moodswings.

a) Keep quiet and not say anything.
b) Say lots of things, be it constructive or not.

Then again, Category B can be broken down to many sub-parts. And I realised I generally like the people in Category B better. But I've been told that it takes a person of immense courage and tact to carry out B. The breakdown is as follows:

Disclaimer: These are only suggested solutions based on past observations. Try at own risk.

1) Tell me in my face to stop moodswinging-
Seriously, the only person who has ever done that is Florence Lim, and I credit 101 marks to her for bravery. It is generally effective when she does it. I'll sulk for awhile, and start shopping happily with her 5 minutes later.

Effectivity: 9/10
Difficulty: 100000/10 [ Do this only if you have guts like hers ]

2) Say incredibly stupid things that are totally ridiculous-
I generally won't have patience to tolerate you if I'm moodswinging but there are two people in this world who does it to great effect: Zirui with his wise-man quotes and incredible sweetness and sensitivity; Kiddd ( otherwise known as 75 bucks ) with his stupid ideas and absurd charm. Do it only if I really like you a lot.

Effectivity: 8/10
Difficulty: 9/10

3) Bribery-
Only bribes of high quality accepted. Examples include Famous Amos and ice-cream pratas.

Effectivity: 5/10
Difficulty: 1/10

4) Very good listeners and advisors-
Best if coupled with sly and wit, like Shuqi, who comes up with extremely effective and sly plans to solve all types of problems.

Effectivity: 7/10
Difficulty: 8/10

5) Just your presence will do-
This is the hardest method because it's not even a method and only people I REALLY REALLY REALLY like fall under here.
Ivy: Part of my family = people I cannot live without. Enough said.
Huis: Only people who are plain evil can give Huis a black face. Just seeing this skinny pig is enough to make me happy.
Yupei: I like her overlording presence and crocodile face and stupid ways and even her dislike for peanuts and peas. I like walking with her.

Effectivity: 9/10
Difficulty: Unattainable

6) Miraculous hugs-
Only if you had hugs like Ru's and I like you enough to hug you. Miss the days when we practically hugged everyone we met in school. It's scientifically proven that hugs improve your mood.

Effectivity: 7/10
Difficulty: 5/10

Bottomline is: This is the way I am, this is my attitude. Take it, or leave it.

But my moodswings generally aren't lethal until I start showing signs of distress/violence such as tearing paper etc. And I would like to apologise to JMG for my grumpiness and moodiness. Just ignore me will do.

2005-09-17T22:21:00.000+08:00

Generally, I don't think I'm a very nice person. I can be really mean at times. Haven't been showing it for quite some time though, not since Sec 2 and okay a little while last year. But everyone was bitchy in Sec 2 anyway, like Stephie HAHA and I was merely retaliating Cockroach, I mean you can't expect me to sit back and do nothing, I can never ever do that for a day in my life. I can't seem to find it in my heart to be nice to people I don't like. I'm polite to people I'm not familiar with, people I don't know. But no, I find it really fake to pretend to be nice to people I don't like. Until now, after hanging out with Huis for so long, I still can't fathom how people like her and Rachel Teo have so much goodness in their hearts to see everyone in a good light. But like Bird, we share the common ground that being too nice can be detrimental at times. I'm proud to say that Huis has improved tremendously over the years, she's not that gullible and believing as compared to last time. But she still tops my chart of People-with-too-much-kindness-in-their-hearts. But Huis is the only goody-goody that I can tolerate. Too much of it gets damn sickening. But I'm really really nice to the people I really like, and protective. It comes along with that streak of motherly nature in me, together with the ability to cook feasts haha. But I think I generally like people quite easily, unless you'r like Potter or something, that's another story. Then again, I think I've already treated Potter with kindness, seeing how little work he has done for PW and how irksome he is. But oh, I enjoy dissing him during PW meetings with Junda. We like to go, " Oh ( insert Potter's real name ), you'r a loser lar! "

(:

On an important note, only three more days to BEP! Can't wait, seriously.

This is my little sister, better known as Tum-Tum. Too bad you can't get a glimpse of her well-known tummy. Isn't she cute?

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This is a tribute to my dearest wife, Chua Sihui. I really didn't expect you to remember even, "Can I dance with you? " and all my little melancholic ways, with my SQ 1027 paper planes. Of no relevance, but I honestly love you. (:

"Can I dance with you?" was so damn it long ago. After that came, " I think you'r very pretty." THAT is already old and mouldy. Ahh well, the old and happy times. The dance of ill destiny that sealed our fates. Sometimes I wonder if you still remember everything that happened.

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